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Thursday, April 29, 2010

VSG surgery day 69

??3.0 weight,  0.6 pounds lost,  60.4 pounds lost to date

Ok, so apparently Google, in its infinite wisdom, thinks that my blog is about "posts" So I'm changing up the titles and the labels so that nobody comes here looking for a hitching p0$t, the p0$t office, a p0$t op tranny, p0$t cereal, Emily po$t, or a p0$t as in " I was p0$t to do it but I forgot". There- I think I pretty much got all of my bases covered.

I'm super duper excited about the second number on the scale moving. I'm inching closer and closer to my pre-preggo weight and THAT will be killer. For me, losing all of the baby weight  ( and AFTER baby weight) will be an incredible milestone worth celebrating.

I gained weight as soon as the sperm hit the egg, no kidding. I gained close to 12lbs in two weeks before I even knew I was pregnant. I was just beyond baffled at this weight gain that seemed to come from nowhere, and so I was about to go sign up for weight watchers. The morning that I was gonna go sign up for WW was the morning that I found out I was pregnant. That morning I rolled over in bed onto my chest and my chi-chi's felt like they were going. to. pop. You know how you can cook a natural casing sausage and you poke a fork in it and it pops? Yeah, my breasts felt like pan fried pork and they were about 1/100000000th of a lb of pressure away from exploding. I knew that I was pregnant. All it took was a quick trip to CVS and a whizz on a stick to confirm what I already knew. After that, the pounds pretty much effortlessly piled on.

Anyhoo, I'm bout to get up and figure out something that I can eat, sooooo I will


Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Day 68 post op

??3.6,  -0.2 from last time, 59.8 to date

For the past few days I've been really feeling a lot of restriction. I've been only able to eat tiny amounts and its really been getting on my nerves. In fact, a lot of stuff has been getting on my nerves.

The other night, we ordered food and I was only able to eat a bit. I went to the bedroom to watch my shows that I'd dvr'ed and when I came back all of the food was gone. I was just like, " Come on. Just because I only ate a tiny amount doesn't mean that I might not want more later." I was absolutely fuming and in fact I was still po'ed about it when I woke up the  next morning.

I went to TOPS last night and ended up leaving in a huff b/c I was just irritated at an ASS-inine comment that one of the members made. She said, ' There has been something on my chest and I want to get it off. Now I want you to know that I love you, " pointing to me and her blood sister," as TOPS sisters and a real sister, but the name of the group is TOPS taking off pounds sensibly and I think that if you had surgery that's not taking it off sensibly." I just said, " Oh hell no," snatched up my stuff and made my way for the door. As I was leaving, she said, " Oh no, I didn't mean anything." Oh yes the hell you did, ma'am!!! I continued my egress in dramatic, queeny, fashion only to realize that I left my phone on the table. UGH! My life long dream having exactly THIS kind of episode, and its foiled by my raggedy ass cell phone. I stormed back in, got my phone, and asked Bertha ( who I love dearly) for her number so that I could call her later. When I did talk to her after the meeting,  she told me that she basically told them that they need some vitality in the group and that they needed to wake up. I really like her. Anyway, I guess I'll go back next week if only to tell them about themselves.

Well, I'm finna get up and clean my dirty house.


Monday, April 26, 2010

Day 66 post op.....Brought to you by the letter "K"

??3.8, same as last time 59.6 to date.

I went to Sam's a while ago to return some chicken that smelled like the business end of a hellifino. I went to the return counter, waited my turn in line, and stepped to the counter foul fowl in hand. The exchange with the counter guy went something like this.

Can I help you?
Yeah, this chicken stinks and I need to return it.
Do you have a reTHeip (ru-theep)
Well, I can issue you a store crediK.

This guy, in all of his pursed lip, gayfaced, neck crooked glory, actually looked at me with a straight face and told me that I could get a That really made my day.

Anyway, I tell you guys all of this to tell you that I was eating some chicken too fast yesterday and it felt like it was up in my thoaK. And I specifically wanted to use the word throaK, but I couldn't use it without a backstory.

Sometimes it seems like I haven't had surgery because for the most part eating is pretty normal at 9 1/2 weeks out. Yesterday though, when Sleevie was bombarded with the chicken a little too fast for his liking, he threw up the stop sign and there was a traffic jam in my esophagus. It wasn't a bad feeling ( though the closest tag that I have is "the bads" so I'm gonna use it) but it was definitely a reminder that I DID have surgery and to stay mindful of my eating.
Well, I gotta get up and brush my teeth so that PT doesn't have to come to a wife with dragon breath.


Sunday, April 25, 2010

Day 64 post op

??3.8,  +0.6,  59.6 to date

I handled my gain with the stoicism of one of those furry headed soldiers who guards Buckingham Palace; I didn't flinch a bit. While I would love the rest of my journey to be a slope like this \ and not something that looks like Lombard Street, I'm super ok with this 6/10ths of a pound.

Today the fam and I went to Costco and I finally bought some of the Premier Protein shakes that so many wls folk  are just coo-coo about.  It's 20something for an 18 pack and and really think that it was money well spent. Its packs a protein punch of 30grams and the 11 oz shake has only 160 calories. It has a far better mouth feel than the watery EAS chocolate shakes I was slamming down a few weeks ago and they have a rich chocolatey flavor that makes the EAS shake look like the wimpy kid on the playground. I'm tellin you, if these two shakes were ever to have a fight, the EAS shake would be limping away with a busted lip, a few missing teeth, and couple of bruised ribs. This is an ass kicking of EPIC proportions.  The one minus is that they are only available in chocolate and I am a vanilla girl. Having said that though, this is a chocolate shake that I actually enjoy.  I can say that I give this protein shake 2 snaps, a twist, and a kiss.


Friday, April 23, 2010

Day 63 post op

??3.2 to date,  -1.4 from last weight,  60.2 to date

I'm feeling real NWA right now.  Yesterday, I was with Headlights all day long b/c I had to drive her home from a surgical procedure and I spent the rest of the day making sure that she was ok. During the trip home, I got pulled over and got a ticket for speeding in a construction zone with workers present. UGH!!!! I wasn't even speeding. Seriously. We thought that he was pulling us over to tell us our tail light was out or something.
This ticket BLOWS. I can't take defensive driving, I can't get deferred disposition, AND here the biggest kicker- THE FINE IS DOUBLED!!!! I could just die. He was itching to give somebody a ticket and I was the unlucky one. Headlights was in the passenger seat with her swollen face wrapped and blood in the corners of her mouth seriously looking like she was about to hurl at any moment and he still gave us a ticket. Even if I was speeding, he should have just let us go on that alone. Sigh.....I am SO bummed.

The good news is that even though I was out all day and I had joy sucking, no good, damn near made me wanna cry, incident , I DID NOT let it derail me and my success. I woke up early, had 16 ozs of water before I even left and had another 16 while I was in the waiting room with The Kid ( who was on his bestest behavior). After the ticket, I went to pick up her prescriptions,  and I stopped and got  a Muscle Milk so that I could be on top of my protein and fluid. For a late afternoon snack, I had a chicken strip, and when I finally made it home for dinner I had beef fajita meat with a touch of guacamole. Sleevie didn't complain at all yesterday.

Well, I don't want this to turn into novella, so I will save some of my gobbledygook for another post.


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Day 61 post op

??4.6 to date,   -1.4 from yesterday,  58.8 to date

Well, I went to Tops last night and I had the presentation and it went really well. I'd gotten so many questions about my surgery that I decided to do a presentation on the VSG( and a few other bariatric surgeries). Even though it had been explained to them before, actually drawing my reworked innards on a dry erase board was the a-ha moment. I think it was a nice change from our usual calorie counting, exercise type presentations.

Our chapter needs to have a fundraiser soon, but all they've come up with is a silent auction. That basically entails us buying one another's junk gently used items. I'm trying to get the jetsam and flotsam out of my house, NOT bring any in. If you guys have any ideas for a fundraiser, I'm all ears.

The Dog and The Kid are working my last nerve this morning. The Dog wants to be with The Kid, but The Kid is being a moody toddler this A.M. and he keeps running to me and telling me that The Dog is licking him. Ugh. One of them is about to go outside, I just haven't made up my mind which one.

Well, I gotta run, ya'll


Day 60 post op Just my weight

??6.0,  -0.6 from yesterday,  57.4 to date

I just want you guys to know how much appreciate you being here. That is all :D


Monday, April 19, 2010

Day 59 post....The VSG can make you a better version of you

??6.6, -1.0 from yesterday, 56.8 to date

Losing weight has been incredible. Periodic Table said to me yesterday," Baby, this has been the best money we ever spent." I couldn't agree with him more.

With each pound I lose, I'm finding myself more and more. The excess weight was keeping from being the person that I wanted to be, but I just didn't realize just how much it was suffocating the life in me. It's just now that I am peeling off and discarding these layers that I can actually see how it affected me. Just yesterday, The Kid was under the table at a restaurant, and without thinking about it or skipping a beat, I jumped out of the booth, quickly squatted down, and promptly put his little behind back in his seat. It was only when I had been comfortably back in my own seat for a minute that I said to Headlights, " Damn, I wouldn't, couldn't have done that before I started losing weight, friend." I just hit me.

I spent so much energy bearing the physical and emotional tonnage of corpulence, that I was depleted when it came time to put the energy into my family or even myself. My nails, while chipped and in desperate need of a do-over, are polished for the first time in years. Jewelry that was once collecting dust now adorns my ears, arms, and neck again. Little stuff that I never thought about NOT doing, I find myself effortlessly doing. This VSG and the changes that it's brought into my life so far are unbelievable.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Day 57 ...Still losing weight

??9.0 today,  -1.1 from yesterday,  54.4 to date

I've been losing, but every morning I keep bracing myself for the inevitable gain. Part of me wishes that it would just happen already so that I don't have this anxious anticipation when I get out of bed in the A.M. Ugh, ...the crazies. Because I have been losing weight so well this week, I've made it my mission to get in even more water and protein than usual. Today I had more than 70ozs of fluid and more than 70ozs of protein because I have to make sure that I am taking care of myself. I do not want anther episode of the bads. Oh yeah, my Easter outfit is fitting me better already. It was a somewhat tight in the larm (that is short for "legs for arms" b/c my arms are big as hayl. Thanks mom.) area and I tried it on today and it fits great. Roses, rainbows, and futterwacken!!

Things have been pretty good today. I woke up this morning and went and got my 'do coiffed and made it home fairly early. Then I realized that we had a 15 dollar coupon to Best Buy that expired today so I jumped up and went right back out of the door. I got The Kid a new game for his V-motion gaming system, a Thomas the Train coloring book, and a bottled water for me. I spent a grand total of........... 29 CENTS!!!!! MY inner skinflint was futterwackenin' vigorously!

Well, I'm off to bed guys!


Friday, April 16, 2010

Day 56 post op My VSG is STILL working

??0.2, -.6 from yesterday, 53.3 to date

Once again this morning when I mounted Bessie, I was completely expecting to see a gain. Another 0.6 lbs of weight gone is KILLER. In the last two days alone I've lost almost 5 sticks of butter. The amount of butter in the picture above is equivalent to the three lbs I've lost since Monday. That's a friggin lot. I am sure that in the near future I'll be a'weeping and a'wailing about stalling out, so while the crazies are at bay, I'm just gonna enjoy the ride.

Goodnight yall


Thursday, April 15, 2010

Day 55 post op My VSG is working

??0.8,  -0.6 from yesterday,  52.7 to date

Three is the age of my offspring, the number of times I think about cake every day, and it is also the number of consecutive days that I have lost weight!!! Woohoo!
 I just got back from seeing Headlights ( who has been a BIG support for me through this entire ordeal) and she told me that my face was getting thinner. It looks a tiny bit thinner to me, but I really don't see it. Since we've already talked about how crazy my eyes are, and because she's not one to say things lightly, I'll gladly take her word for it.

This morning I didn't have my usual protein shake because I . Am. Tired. Of. Them. Imagine 11 ozs of water with  a few vitamins and a few spoonfuls of chocolate syrup, and there you will have my approximation of what this shake tastes like. Its not bad, its just not good. Instead I had a heavenly hunk of havarti with a couple of crackers and good ole Sleevie was jocund, jovial, and joyful! Lately, Sleevie and my mouth haven't been seeing eye to eye so this armistice is roses and rainbows. Hopefully this cease fire won't have been dissolved when I wake up in the A.M.

Well, I'm off to bed.


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Day 54 post op Sleevie Wonder is realer than the Tooth Fairy

??1.4 today, -1.2 from yesterday, 52.1 to date.

A good friend of mine had the lapband last July and she was one of the big reasons that I had surgery and I tell her all the time that she is my shero ( a she hero). She has a dedication and motivation the likes of which I rarely see. She's lost more than 80 lbs and she is now a competitive runner. In the last race that she ran, she came in 8th place of over 100 in her division. That is SO incredible. I talked to her just yesterday and she's considering training for a triathalon. My ass is lazy, I don't like to be outside (because I'm a bug weenie), and I don't have much staying power, but I think that with Sleevie and Shero on my team I'll be off to a staggering, heavy breathing good start.

Look what you can do with bargain basement photo shop skills and too much time on your hands. I need to watermark this immaculate, immaculateness because there are some conniving, thieving, copy paste, heathens

who would love to take my Sleevie away and claim him as their own. If any of you EVER see this anywhere else, immediately send a cease and desist letter, and then we'll roll up on them chumps with some eye bussin', pistola poppin, Colombian neck tyin, kick ass and take names later, ferocity.  Actually, I'm finna watermark this precious gem right now. Anway, I gotta go be a wife and a mother so I'm gonna take off my gangsta do rag and talk to you guys later.


Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Day 53 post op

I lost weight today, but I forgot what it is. I guess that happens when you wait until 11 something to blog.
eta ??2.6 today,  -1.6 from yesterday,  51.9 to date

For breakfast today I measured out 2.5 ozs of pork brisket, but I could not finish it. Sleevie's volume seems to vary from day to day and with the type of food. Tonight I cannot bother myself with the caprices of Sleevie.
I was busy ALL day whipping my hair into shape for my TOPS meeting because I looked a hot, ass mess. It's ok to walk around the house looking like something scared you, but I think that a look like that is best left behind closed doors. Nothing really blogworthy happened today. I drank my shakes, drank my water, blah, blah, blah flippin blah. Oh yeah, the TOPS scale has me down 3.25 lbs from last Tuesday so that it a super good thing.

Well I've got a hot date with Morpheus


Monday, April 12, 2010

Day 52 post op

??4.2 to date, +1.2 from last time,  50.3 to date

Hello yall! I'm just sitting her at the computer trying to remember of the stuff that my addled brain forgot to tell you last week.
Monday (LAST  week), I had a check up at the doc's office and just like last time, it was a big waste of gas. I really wish that I could just call in with my weight and save myself the trip to Carrollton. Yeah, I pretty much got weighed and that was it. I understand that the VSG is pretty much a set it and forget type of surgery, but I don't want to feel like I'm being rushed out. You know what?? Instead of telling you guys, I'm gonna tell them over at the office how I feel. Maybe that will be the better option. They ARE really nice over there.

Oh yeah, I ALSO forgot to tell you that I won 3 awards at TOPS last week. I won "Best Tops" for March, for going to meetings 4 weeks in a row, AND here's the biggie, for losing weight AFTER Christmas. The coolest part is that the awards are little charms or pins. Lol, I'm a gangsta who likes these cute little charms...hahaha

Well, I gotta go and get something done before the Mr. comes home.


Saturday, April 10, 2010

Day 50 post op I

??3.0,  -0.2 from yesterday, 51.5 to date

With the way that me weight has been all over the place, I must say I was mighty surprised to step on the scale and see a loss. Bessie and I, for today at least, are BFF's.

Hitting 50 lbs lost was a big, fat, non-event for me. I guess it's because it isn't really something tangible. While it is a big accomplishment, I was more excited about fitting into my old pants.  I got less and less gung-ho about it the closer that I inched to it. And really, what's the big difference between 49.9 and 50? Eh, I'm sure that there will be plenty of accomplishments for me to be uber-ecstatic about as I continue to lose.

Once again, I just want you guys to know how much I appreciate yall being here.Even if you're not a follower and you're just lurking to see what kind of deranged drivel is spewing from my brain, I totally heart you, too!! Seriously, I mean it. I've told quite a few people in real life that I am blogging about my experience, and only two have stopped by here to see what's going on and give me feedback. I'm telling you, when I blow up and become the world's bestest blogger and I'm making fistsloads of cash (HA!), I'm flying you all in for a big ass party!! Well, just the eight of you that are following me as of 4/10/


Thursday, April 8, 2010

Day 48 post op The Big Ska-weeze.

Its funny how I get amnesia every time my weight goes up. IDK what is is, BUT it is still a loss from my stall.

OMG, guys!!!! I completely SKA-WEEZED into a pair of cute little bermuda pants that I bought about a month before I got pregnant (For me, pregnancy was the springboard to the weight problems that I have now.) Now I will tell you that there is a bit a muffiny goodness going on under that pink top, and that it will be a few more weeks before I can wear them in public because these pants fit like shrinkwrap, but I am so
I wish that every day on this journey could be  roses and rainbows, but life isn't, so why should this?

One rather recent development since my  VSG surgery is heartburn. (The only time I'd ever had heartburn in my life was during the baby baking period.) Luckily though, Sleevie's antics are easily controlled with lansoprazole during the day and Gaviscon by night. Lansoprazole was one of the meds I needed for my h. pylori treatment and it is available OTC. Had I known then what I know now, I could have saved about 80 bucks. Anyway, I'm gonna clean up because its purty outside and I gotta take the The Kid out.


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Day 47 post op

??4.4 today,  -1.6 from yesterday,  49.1 to date

I'm glad that I didn't crawl into that cauldron yesterday. My ass would have been too burnt up to come and tell y'all that I FINALLY LOST WEIGHT!!!! My stubborn body has finally loosened its gorilla fist grip on 1.6 lbs of excess poundage.
I've been on pretty much all of the weight loss forums and apparently you can stall if you eat too much, eat not enough, eat too much protein, eat too little protein, eat too many carbs, or eat too few carbs.You can also break a stall with the multitude of things on the aforementioned list. All I know is that I'm glad that the scale is moving.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Day 46 post op. Weight loss stalled

??6.0, prety much the friggin same as it has been.

I haven't lost any weight at all this week and I am pretty bummed about it. I've been following the caloric guidelines, the carb guidelines, the water guidelines, the protein guidelines ALL of the things that I am suppsed to do and my ass didn't lose weight this week. Even though I know that you don't lose weight every single week, I guess that I secretly hoped that I'd be the exception. I also hoped that I'd be the one whose rolls vanished right after I got up off of the gurney. On top of that, my post baby belly, nothing you EVER want to see outside of maybe a small group of freaky stretch mark fetishists, still looks sad. And even though I am fitting into smaller sizes and I have a little more swagger in my step, I'm having a bad day today.

The VSG, Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy, Gastric Sleeve, Gastric Resection, or whatever you cool cats wanna call it, isn't magic. My rational mind knows that; my irrational mind is kind of hoping that it IS magic. Then, when it turns out not to be magic( because the surgery isn't a time machine nor can it deny the laws of physics, biology or anything else for that matter) I am disappointed. I feel like I want to crawl into that bubbling cauldron of too big clothes, 3 lbs excess adipose tissue,a drop of surgical glue, a handful of horsepills, a bag of IV fluid, 5 scoops of protein powder, and the sweat of 3 overworked
RN's and see if maybe some of the magic will jump onto me.


Sunday, April 4, 2010

Day 44 post op

At my parent's house so I have no weight today.

This cartoon has nothig to do with today in general, but more so my entire freaking life!!

I went to the church I grew up in for the first time in a very long time for Easter service with my family. For quite some time I've avoided going to places because I was SO tired of people commenting on my weight. I know I'm fat, I don't need you or anyone else to tell me!!! It's like once I gained weight, nobody ever commented on my hair, earrings, clothing, make up-nothing. Everything else faded under the looming shadow of my excess weight. If you know someone who has gained a few lbs or a lot more than a few, take a cue from something that we all learned in kindergarten.If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. I can now step down from my soapbox.

I love my mom and dad, but coming to their house is hell on my way of eating. Before surgery, that usually meant snacking on whatever junk food was in the cabinets. Since the surgery, however, I've not been tempted by any of the carby goodness lurking in their cabinets. One tiny square of a Hersheys bar is all of the Easter candy that I had today and I am satisifed. I never really thought that this would happen and on some crazy days I still think that it won't work for me. I still cannot get my head around all of the changes that the VSG has brought into my life. I don't know, I'm having a really hard time trying to find the words, but I am really grateful that I was able to have the surgery. Well, I've gone on long enough and I need to save some of this longwindedness for tomorrow.


Saturday, April 3, 2010

Day 43 post op

I'm not sure what my weight is but I DID weigh today. As soon as I walked to the computer, I had a complete memory lapse. I do know that it was higher than yesterday, but since I'm not sure of the exact number, instead of my weight, you are left with the ramblings of a kinda-crazy woman. :)

My last minute ass just came back from getting The Kid some stuff to put into his Easter pail. Unlike someone I know who likes to keep holiday candy to a minimun( hey you, I stole your goldfish idea), I can't help myself. I bought him a big, honking mass of chocolatey, rabbity, goodness. I do keep sweets to a minimum for the entire family's sake, but I just HAD to buy him this chocolate rabbit!!!!. I know that it is going to be every square millimeter of exposed skin ( and maybe some that isn't), and that I will be the one to clean his little behind up, but I know that he will enjoy it.

Anyway, because I am I procrastinator and I haven't packed up anything at all, I have to run and get ready for the 2 hour drive to my parents house. Periodic Table has a mountain of paperwork to get through, so its just gonna be me and my bambino cruising down the highway. Don't eat too many chocolate bunnies, yall!!!!!


Friday, April 2, 2010

Day 42 post op

??6.0 to date,  +0.2 from yesterday,  47.5 to date

For some odd reason, I couldn't comment on my post as much as I tried. Just know that I appreciate all of you being here and I do read the comments. This sounds SO cheesy, but without yall there wouldn't be much reason for me to sit here and peck away at the keyboard like I do. I never read my own stuff. Oh yeah this is the perfect segue into this- I was looking at some old stuff in my documents on my computer and I found a word document that had only this

If only someone else would pay the bills and mind the children, we could all pursue or creative dreams rather than murder our souls to pay the mortgage.

I'm not sure if I wrote that or not but I'm sure that Periodic Table didn't. I googled the phrase to see if it popped up in search results, but it didn't. Of course I'd like to take credit for something that sounds so profound, so erudite, but I just don't know. (Anyway, what about the poor saps who get stuck watching the kids?) Off to some Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy related stuff.

Today the Mr. and I ( along with  The Kid of course) went to Sam's and spent WAAAAAAY too much money. We bought a crapload of different cheeses, ready to eat beef fajita meat,guacamole, chicken wings and other parts of the bird, more protein shakes, meatballs, shrimp, salmon, angus beef, broccoli, and this list isn't even close to being exhaustive. All of it is high protein, low carb, and great for the crazy, unstable, multiple personality having ass sleeve that is now residing in my body. Lately, he's been ok with cheese so I'm going to eat as much of that as he will allow because there is nothing more yummy than rotted milk pressed, formed, coagulated and coaxed into an entirely different form. MMMMMMMMMM!!!

Well it looks like dinner is in the works ( thanks to good ole PT) so I'm finna run.


Blogger can suck it

Blogger is tripping and I cannot post my last entry ugh!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Day 41 post op

I started to get on the scale, but then I decided not to. I didn't really like not weighing myself for a week, but on the other hand, I didn't have to deal with the day to day rollercoaster either. Maybe I'll make up my mind, maybe I won't. All I know is that there won't be a weight listed today.

I'm thisclose to a 50lb loss and I'm trying to find an appropriate reward for myself. I could get a pedicure, but that is something that I would do before I lost any weight. I also considered a some of those shapeup shoes, but eh.  And this ---------------->
would just be overkill.
I'm not sure what I want to do, but 50lbs is a big, freakin, deal.  I don't want to spend too much, but I also want it to be something more than what I normally do. If you guys have any ideas or suggestions, I'd be happy to hear them.

I gotta get off of my bum b/c I have a consultation for braces in about 20 minute and I need to jump in the shower. Procrastination rules the nation, people! lol


Waning Woman is sponsored by North Texas Bariatrics


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