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Friday, May 14, 2010

VSG surgery 84..............the crazies


I don't feel like looking back at my old posts to see how much my weight changed from the last weigh in.

 ??9.0 weight today ( it was the same yesterday) and my total weight lost is 65.4

Ok, so for the past couple of days, I've been plagued by the reoccurring fear that my surgery won't work. I tried talking to my mom about it, but she just told me "not to be negative". While she probably said the only thing that she new how so say, it wasn't exactly what I needed to hear. I'm not being negative, I'm being CRAZY!  But then, what if I'm not being crazy and I really do stop losing weight. UGH! I just don't know.

Of course I want it to work, and work well. I want to not be fat. I want be able to wear clothes and not worry about pieces of Addie sticking out. I want to be able to do all of stuff that people without any sort of weight problems/drama/issues/ etc do. I STILL want to snap my fingers and just be the weight that I want to be. All of this stuff about "appreciating the journey" is a big load of crap. Working hard for stuff is overrated. The only people who "appreciate" hard work are the people who HAVE to do it. Ask Paris Hilton or any number of trust fund babies and I'm sure they will agree with me that the "hard work/ satisfaction myth" is just something that poor saps of the word fool themselves into believing...... I JUST WANT THE WEIGHT GONE and maybe I won't be so crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7 comments:

  1. Plateaus SO freaking SUCK! You've made such an incredible start, there's only more to come.

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  2. Hmmm, so with all the CRAZIES going on someone may have tried to tell you to stop freakin' weighing yourself everyday. Our weight fluctuates daily, so up's and down's don't equal success or failure. OK, OK, I gotta stop blogging and move my "fat assets" or I will be wondering why 0.000.000000.9 pounds won't drop off!

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  3. Well, anonymous, I'd like for you to know that the crazies has nothing to do with me weighing myself daily. I think that the fear of failure is something that most people with a large amount of weight to lose deal with. I tried every diet and well, that just got me to the point that I needed surgery. Its not the plateaus themselves that make me think that the surgery won't work, I just think that its part of the process of losing weight and that I have to just work through it. Just because my rational brain tells me that something is in my head, it doesn't mean that is not there. I lost more than a pound and a half from yesterday, and I still feel the same fucking way. Thanks for being here :)

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  4. Oh now that really PISSES me off!!!! I weigh myself every morning. If nothing else it keeps the motivation up and if the scale doesn't move I know that I need to re-think the days before. Yes weight changes daily, but what the freaking hell? I think we all know that! Ok, enough of my ranting and taking over your post. Sorry. I just say Yea for you! Your doing a fabulous, though sometimes very difficult, job. Keep up the good work and USE that scale!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ooohhh, a bonafide hater! You're officially famous! LOL
    people have told me not to weigh myself daily as well, but only weekly, to avoid being obsessive about it... but I totally agree with Bipolar Diva about motivation

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  6. Hi Waning woman- I am at the beginning stage of getting my vsg surgery. Right now I am still seeing the various physicians necessary for my referrals. I am so looking forward to getting it all behind me becoming more active and healthier. I also want to feel better and look better. Even though you don't say your beginning weight, congrats on your weight loss milestones. Also thanks for this blog. It's very informative.

    cobbcountylady

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks. I appreciate the positive feedback and I'm so glad that my blog is able to help you with your journey. I am so glad that you are here, cobbcountylady!

    ReplyDelete

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