Click the links below for more info. You know you wanna do it!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

VSG surgery 131


I've been noticing small changes in my skin now that I'm north of 27, 29, 26, 25 so I've been looking for something to stave off the inevitable. That led to me finding the Anew line by Avon, which in turn led to deciding to sell it myself if I was going to buy it. Just that fast, and now I'm an Avon lady. I've been busy! If you're looking for a representative, whether you're in the area or not, contact me and I'll be more than happy to help you out. Tell me you saw me on Waning Woman and there will be a hook up.

My eating while I was away, wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. I usually like to gravitate to healthier snacks and protein based meals, but there was one day that I was away that I had about three handfuls of goldfish crackers for breakast, lunch, and dinner. The next day, I ate the top off of two slices of pizza ( not too bad) and I had a chicken leg for dinner. While I don't think that I made the best food choices, I know that I wasn't over my calories for the day. I ate until I was satisfied, and then I stopped.

The Snickers Marathon  Caramel Nut Rush protein bar is incredibly good. Weighing in a 2.82 ozs it packs 20 grams of protein and delivers it with chocolaty roundhouse kick to the tastebuds. The first ingredient is milk chocolate, the second caramel, and coming in third is the protein blend. This is a candy bar first and a protein bar second, so if you're overly concerned about sugars you might want to stick to eating carob coated cardboard bars. It has 290 calories, 10g of fiber, and 22g of sugar. If you're jonesing for candy, you might want give this a try instead. There are other protein sources that can deliver more protein in fewer calories, but I think that this is a great way to switch things up.


Monday, June 28, 2010

VSG surgery 129

There is some family stuff  that has been going on for a while now and I had to take a roadtrip to my hometown yesterday. It's not anything that I really like to talk about because maybe somewhere my inner 8 year old thinks that if I close my eyes it will go away. Yeah........Sigh....

In the next few days I think that things will have settled down enough so that I can have better entries. The issue will not have magically gone away, but the urgency won't be there.I'm sorry that this entry is so short, but I hope that a progress pic will make up for it.

Oh well, blogger is not letting me add the pic. I'll add it later

Saturday, June 26, 2010

VSG surgery 127 Waning Woman works out

?????????? Down from yesterday Less than 3lbs away from a new middle number.

I had an adventure last night that involved keys, moscato, a comedy show, strippers (don't ask),car trunks and hood chicks with gold teeth. It sounds random as hell and probably not nearly as exciting as the adventure conjured up by one's imagination, but I had fun. As I lose weight, I'm really enjoying getting out and having girl's nights.

I'm really starting to become a gym junkie. I guess since I'm not thinking about food all day, there's a vacuum in the obsession area of my brain. Right now exercise is speeding into the dark vortex area of my gray matter that has at one time or another held captive a cashier at Winn Dixie, CAKE, The Rock, eating cake off of The Rock, Mr Wizards World, peanut butter and blueberry preserve sandwiches, and The Sims. This is is by no means exhaustive, yall. Anyway enough about my crazy and back to gym stuff.

I don't really care for cardio, but I lurve weight training. I think that I have zero slow twitch muscle in my body because even at the pinnacle of bodily perfection ( on the track team mind you!) running a mile would damn near keeeeeeeel me. Weight training, I can do! That has been my focus at the gym and I hit the weights and I'm out in less than 40 minutes. I like it so much that I want to go more than once a day(obsession kicking in) but overworking your muscles in counterproductive because they grow when you're resting. It's explained here.
When you lift weight, you're supposed to stress the muscle to the extent that it breaks down at the cellular level, resulting in increased protein synthesis, which produces thicker muscle fibers. This process begins 2-4 hours after the workout and lasts 24 hours[1] (although some researchers suggest that muscles worked to exhaustion need 36-48 hours to rebuild[2]). If you stress the muscle again before the process is complete, you'll break down the muscle fibers before they've had a chance to rebuild.[1]
I hope I can keep up this momentum while the gettin is good!


Friday, June 25, 2010

VSG surgery 126 cellulite submission

???????????????????? up a smidge.

I just came back from the gym and it was a back and biceps day. I wish that it was leg day because for some weird reason, I REALLY like leg day. Anyway, I went in, handled by business, left up out of there, and now I'm home telling you guys about it.

I strolling down the aisles of dollar tree the other day and I happened upon this massager thingamajig. It looked like something that would take a bite out of my leg jelly and put it in its place, so I thought "what the heck". It was only a dollar. Before I went to bed that night, I got out my cellulite beater upper and put it to the test, but only on one leg. I really put some umph into it so while it didn't hurt, it didn't necessarily feel good.. The next morning, I looked at my legs and there was a slight but noticeable difference. With rolling my cellulite into submission along with my weight training and cellusculpt, I might have a slim chance of getting my old legs back. Might and slim are the operative words here. Still, I'm going all "Tyson Holyfield ear carnage" on my cellulite so that I have the best chance possible.

I was talking to someone about my new cellulite destruction plan and they said, " Well, you have to use it everyday. Those creams don't work" Um hello, we don't use deodorant once and then get mad when it doesn't work for the rest of our lives.

I'm still in my stinky workout clothes, so I'm gonna go and I will...


Thursday, June 24, 2010

VSG surgery 124


I went to TOPS last night and according to their scale I've lost more than 6 lbs from last week. I like that.

I just got back from yet another busy day and I'm ready to crash right freaking now. I had another volleyball game tonight and while we may not have one, I didn't mess up any serves at all and I hustled by butt off trying to get the ball. I worked up a genuine gonna-hafta-wash-this-shirt-after-I-wear-it sweat and my heart was pumping. It was the greater-est.

I've been drinking my water and protein shakes, but this week I haven't really had much of an appetite. I'm not proud of it, but today all I had was an overly sweet, prepackaged rice krispie treat, a shake, and less than 2 ozs of lega tibs. I was gonna eat some peanut butter but there was this disgusting black ring around the lid that didn't look kosher so it ended up getting tossed. I'm sure that I'll have days where I'm grazing like a cow and want to eat everything that isn't nailed down, so I'm not really complaining.

Oh yeah, I'm not sure what my total weight loss is ( Bessie is still in the infirmary) but anyway you crack it, I've lost more than 80 lbs. 80! That's big.


Monday, June 21, 2010

VSG surgery 122

Still losing :)

This whole upchucking/nausea thing seems to be a reoccurring theme throughout my last few blog entries. Today is no exception.

The other night, well morning actually, I had a dream that I was in the kitchen with an old cheerleader buddy from high school. We were talking and all of a sudden she started throwing up which made me throw up. I must have been straddling that fine line between being asleep and being awake because the next thing I know, I'm waking up and the front of my shirt is SOAKED with saliva and I got the whole waterfall mouth thing going on. UGH! In my mind it seemed like I hurried off to the bathroom, but later Periodic Table told me that I just woke up like it was no big deal to have the front of my shirt soaked with spittle. I didn't throw up, but it was just really weird.

Around Easter, I went shopping at a thrift store for some pants. When I tried them on, they buttoned, but they didn't fit well at all. They were SOOOOOO tight it was like having a second epidermis. Real talk. I couldn't even bend my knees in these damn things. Fat forward to about a week ago and I put them on and they were pulling-them-up-as-I-walk-baggy. I can even put them on and take them off without unbuttoning them.

Well, here's the pic that I promised. I took this on Saturday night. If I was sucking in any harder, I would have passed out!


Sunday, June 20, 2010

VSG surgery 121

not posting weights until Bessie gets well, but according to another scale. Its still moving.

I want to upload some pictures for my entry today, but Blogger is being rather uncooperative. :(

I've not really been on my water the way I need to for the past couple of day. My pee was darker than I like it to be this morning. I'm working on finishing up a 44oz cup of water so that even if I don't drink anything else, I'll at least have that in. With the TX summer, I gotta make sure that I meet or even exceed my daily hydration goals.

I haven't really lost much weight, but I'm totally shrinking. I can't really post the good pics because they are of the bra and panty variety and I certainly cannot afford any lawsuits because you've gouged your eyes out upon seeing them. Or maybe upon seeing the pics you abandon everything in your life and decide that you want to show up at my doorstep and proclaim your undying love for me. Yeah, there's no gray at all with me. Either way, I don't want to be liable for anything. I DO have some fully clothes pics I'd lurve to share if only Blogger's head wasn't up its ass tonight.

I hate to cut this so short, but Blogger is really, really, really, in spaz mode right now.


Saturday, June 19, 2010

VSG surgery 120 BLEEEEECH


On Thursday, I threw up. I don't know if it was the food or what, but it  wasn't a little foamy yuckiness that slid back up my esophaghus, or something that I just spit out with ease. It was a freshman year in college, bent over,  standing on your tippy toe, "Sweeet Jeeeezus is there a God" kind of episode. I don't know what triggered it, but it was terrible. We were grocery shopping when I got the disgusting waterfall mouth and I knew that nausea was knocking on my uvula the door. I got the keys hurried to the car, and sat in the passenger seat, door ajar. Then it came.

It felt like my stomach was BA-REAKING. The food, thick because I can't eat and drink at the same time, had terribly hard time coming up my gullet so poor Sleevie had to work that much harder. Ugh, it hurt so bad. After the first bit came up, I reclined back into the seat, perspiration dotting my brow. Another wave hit me, and so I leaned out of the car and let that hit the pavement, too. When it was all done, I looked down at this tiny puddle of masticated mess that had caused me so much distress. Really? All of that work?

I'm no stranger to throwing up, but before surgery it was pretty much a non-event. Not really something to put on a wishlist, but nothing that really was a day ruiner. This, this right here, is something that I NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER want to do again. Because I don't know what caused it, I will be avoiding pork roast, supermarkets, shopping carts, aisle 15 in ANY store, my mother in law, Periodic Table, the outfit I was wearing that day, and CoverGirl lip gloss. There.


Thursday, June 17, 2010

VSG surgery 118 Bessie is dead


Bessie (or at least her batteries) is officially past her deathbed and is firmly in the threshold of death's door. When I went to get a weight today, she looked up at me weakly and with her dying breath she told me that I'd lost 19 lbs from yesterday. Looking down at her with all the compassion I could muster( you know we've got an iffy, sometime-y relationship), placed my hand gently over her eyes and told her to go into the light. I'm sure I'll get some batteries her a new heart sooner or later.

I've been living in Restriction City these past few days. For lunch yesterday, we went to Razzoo's and I got the fish fingers off of the kid's menu.As you can see, they're not even that big. I ate about 3/4's of one and two french fries and I was holiday stuffed. I was ok with it because while they sated my hunger, they weren't particularly delicious. Kid's menu stuff hardly ever is. Dinner consisted of about three forkfuls of this garlicky, delicious, Dominican style, pork chop and that was too much for me. Ay dios mio!

Well my mother in law is ready to get out on the town and see all that my city has to offer. I'm about to go shower and get pretty for the day.


Wednesday, June 16, 2010

VSG surgery 117

??8.4 weight today, -0.2 lbs from last weight,  76.4 pounds lost total. Once again I got two weights today and I took the higher one.

I found the perfect solution to my rapidly reducing rump problemo. Not only can bum be once again enveloped in the soothing embrace of soft luxury, I can also tighten and tone my tush while it's being enveloped in the soothing embrace of soft luxury. The Japanese butt pillow is the answer to all of my back end botheration. I might have to buy two though; those Japanese are notoriously tiny. You know what, I should buy like 10 of them and just put them all over my body and see if I can vibrate and jiggle my way to 6 pack heaven. Once I get there, I'm going to personally thank God for making the Japanese and giving them the engineering know how to make such an earth shattering, revolutionary invention. Viva la butt pillow!!


Tuesday, June 15, 2010

VSG surgery 116 Physical Physics

Bessie gave me two different weights today a pound apart. She must need some new batteries or maybe she's just tired of my big ass mounting her everyday.
I'll use the higher weight.
 ??8.6 weight today, -0.4 lbs from last weight, 76.2 pounds lost to date.

I didn't post yesterday because I had a house full of family. My dear mother in law flew in yesterday and she'll be here through the week, and my parents were here for the day, too. Somehow between going to the airport, entertaining family, picking up a wig for my grandma, getting groceries, AND whipping up a my famous taco dinner ( that I didn't have time to even partake of), I found space in my cramped day to go to the gym. Woohoo!

A few years BA ( before adiposity) I used to frequent the gym and I was a BA-RICK-HOUSE! I never made any excuses and I was there three days a week, every week. I was dedicated, diligent and dogged in my determination to develop my chassis into something dy-no-mite. And it WORKED......until one day something came up and I couldn't go to the gym. That one day turned into 2, which turned into 4, which turned into 8, and so on and so on. I don't take any responsibility for it though. There are immutable laws on the universe in play here, people.

Who am I, in my infinite nothingness to defy the laws of inertia? Basically an object in motion/rest will stay in motion/rest unless acted on by an outside force. I was able to go to the gym (object in motion) but I stopped because I was acted on by an outside force (the something). On the flipside, I was at rest and there was no outside force to make me go back to the gym.  So the next time somebody calls you lazy, tell them that there are laws of the universe far greater than any insults they can lob at you. Look them squarely in the face, and simply tell them, " Inertia."


Sunday, June 13, 2010

VSG surgery 114

I lost weight today, but I forgot the number. Oy!

Yesterday I was eating a chicken strips sans crust and for a minute or all seemed well in Waning Woman World. After that minute though I got reeeealy nauseated.
I never felt like I was going to actually throw up, but there was an incessant stream of saliva that kept coming out of my mouth. I found an empty Whataburger cup and made my watery deposit into that until the feeling subsided 10 minutes later. Yuck.
I've eaten chicken strips numerous times, so I'm not really sure what caused me to salivate like I was at Love at Fist Bite Bakery Cujo, but I'm glad that's over and done with.

Now that I have a little less fat to pad my bum, I can't sit nearly as long as I used to. I went to church and I was moving around like I had ants in my pants or something. I'm going to have to buy me a butt pillow or something until I get used to this. I hope I do get used to this. What if my butt is permanently broken? .....Hmph.


Saturday, June 12, 2010

VSG 113

??9.0,  +0.4 lbs from last weight,  75.8 pounds lost total

I'm finally getting around to posting the pics that I promised. Theses aren't anything new if you're a FB friend, so don't get all excited, lol. These pics were taken on the same day.

I think that I look smaller in the second picture than I ever look when I'm seeing my reflection first hand. I don't think I look that small, but every part of your body is in a conspiracy against you when you're losing weight. Anyway, this is the conversation that I had with good old Periodic Table.

WW- PT, does this picture make me look small?
PT-    No, that's pretty much how you look.
WW- That's how I look or that pretty much how I look?
PT-    I don't know.You look like that all the time.
WW- Are you sure? I look small to me.
5 minutes later....
WW- That's really what I look like?
PT-     Yes. (with a slightly exasperated intonation)
WW- hmmmmph.
3 minutes later...
WW- This doesn't make me look small? Are you lying?
PT- cold, emotionless, stare. Stop talking to me.   ( Isn't love a wonderful thing?)

I still weight like a hundred million bazillion gajillion pounds above where The Chart says I should be, but
I've never had an on The Chart body, I'm liking myself more and more, and I've never gave a damn about what The Chart says I should be. I'm not about to start now.


Thursday, June 10, 2010

VSG surgery 111 buttocks and silver platters

??8.6 weight today,  -0.8 lbs from last weight,  76.2 pounds lost total

I've had a busy day, but I couldn't go to bed without making a blog entry.

Oh yeah, my dog pulled a Lindsay Lohan and got picked up by the po-po last night while I was getting my derriere handed to me on the volleyball courts. I got a phone call this morning asking if I'd come pick her up so I spent part of the day bailing out our troublemaking pet. Later, Periodic Table and I took The Kid to go run around at the water play area near by, and then we rounded out the day grocery shopping. I don't know where all of the time went, but this day has absolutely flown by. I'm glad that I have the energy to do all of this stuff.

This is a lot shorter than I usually like my entries to be but just look at that pachyderm's face. He's not sad, he's tired. Getting your ass handed to you is haaaaaard work. I gotta go to bed.


Wednesday, June 9, 2010

VSG surgery 110

??9.4,  1.8 lbs lost from last weight,  75.4 pounds lost total

Today was a really good day, y'all.
I have a new second number on the scale and I hit 75 pounds.

I was SO affected earlier today that I couldn't even sit down and type a blog entry. It wasn't an OMG-OMG- I'm-on-the-Price-Is-Right-and-I'm-hoopin-and-hollerin-down-the-aisle kind of excitement like I expected. After I got off the scale, I just kinda smirked and went back to the bed and sat down with The Kid.

The emotion manifested itself as more of a quiet fulfillment, small part disbelief the other part credence. The words to describe this feeling are right at my fingertips as I type this, but as soon as I reach out to touch them they fade back into the mist, ephemeral. I wish that I could project my memory of that feeling into this blog entry so that you could feel what I felt when I looked at the scale. I felt like a serpentine creek snaking through the hills on a verdant Spring day. The kind of day so iconic, so archetypal, that it borders on trite. Even as I write this it sounds cheesy, but..........well, I don't know..........that's all I got.


Tuesday, June 8, 2010

VSG surgery 109

I lost weight yesterday, but blogger was having a tantrum and I couldn't log on. Of course I can't remember what it is. Didn't weigh today because I escaped the jaws of Satan and slept at my cousin's.

I went to a yet another graduation last night, and afterward my Aunt, cousin, and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings. I ordered spicy garlic wings because I thought that after all of the talks that we'd been having that Sleevie and I'd  gotten a better understanding. My temperamental Sleevie with his erratic mood swings decided that he just didn't feeeel like cooperating. I took two bites and I had to just shake my head and back away from the food. My stomach felt like The Door to Hell, but it passed very quickly. Luckily, pretty much anything that Sleevie throws my way is over and done with in about 15 minutes. I'd rather have fire and brimstone IN my belly than fat and a stone ON my belly.

I took some progress pics to share with you, the Denizens of the Wanosphere, but I've told you time and time again that my phone is craptuculary craptastic crap. Like the surgery scar pic, it might take a hell of a lot more than a few days, but they are coming.

Speaking of crap, The Kid somehow has crap on his big toe. I am SO serious.*dead, cold, stare* Don't ask any questions, because I'm sure not. Ugh, let me go be a mom.


Sunday, June 6, 2010

VSG surgery 107 A use for boob sweat

??1.2 weight today,  -1.8 lbs from last weight,  73.6 pounds lost total

When I got on the scale this morning, I was braced for a gain. I just felt like this trend was too good to be true and that the evil scale genie was going to coalesce from the air of my defeated sigh and waft up from the scale to taunt me. Whew, I'm so glad that I didn't have to deal with him today. I read somewhere that you can keep him at bay with the liquid distilled from  the contents of my bedroom a workout sock, a dirty pullup, toenail clippings, the hair from around a dog's third nipple, and boob sweat.

I came home last night after my cousin's birthday party and the house felt a bit warm. I thought maybe it was my imagination, but when I woke up this morning there was no doubt about it at all. The frickin AC is definitely on the fritz. UGH! I put in a work order online, but I have to wait for them to call me, and THEN when they call they schedule the appointment. After I wait a few days for the appointment, they'll then tell me that they have to order a part. After they order the part, I'll have to wait for it to come in. When it comes in, they'll call and schedule another appointment that's a few days out. LAWD-A-MERCY!!!!!
I. Am. Going. To. Die.
I really hope that Sleevie is going to be ok with cold cuts, cheese, and bunless chicken strip sandwiches cause I'm not stepping foot in the kitchen until my house is no longer the Devil's balls  ( or that genie's mouth. his breath looks like its ferocious!)


Saturday, June 5, 2010

VSG surgery 106....just the weight

??3.0 weight today,  -0.2 lbs from last weight,  71.4 pounds lost total.

Just ate some leftover curried chicken and I'm about to get up and get a jump on the day. I have another busy weekend.


Friday, June 4, 2010

VSG surgery 105

??3.2 weight today,  -0.8 lb lost from last weight,  71.2 pounds lost total

When I got on the scale, I was surprised to see another loss. Theses past few weeks have been a circuitous ride and I never know from day to day when the Traitorous Tramps are going to conspire against me. They really got me feeling a little melgibsonish.(like the new word?) I really, really, really, really, really, really hope that this keeps up.  This new second number will be something special.

I haven't been to TOPS in the last three weeks, but I'm really not trying to make a statement. I'm over the big hissy fit that I had. I've just been so busy enjoying life that I've not had time to stop what I'm doing. Taking the kids to the water play area was far more fun than sitting around in a musty building with TERRIBLE reception. I'm glad that we've never been held hostiCH ( yes with a CH) cause nobody could call 911 and I'm pretty sure that we'd still be there. Anyway,Bertha called me to make sure that I was coming back and I told her I would. I reeeealyyyyyy do mean it.

Headlight's daughter and The Kid are over here and they are eating Pringles for lunch, so let me get up and take care of the kiddos.


Thursday, June 3, 2010

VSG 104

??4.0 weight today, 1.0 lbs lost from last weight, 70.4 pounds lost to date

The scale in finally moving in the right direction for two days in a row. This hasn't really happened much in the past few weeks so I'm feeling really good right about now. I give today 2 thumbs up and a "Lil Jon Yeah".

So, I don't know if I told you guys that I joined a coed volleyball team, but if not, here's the formal announcement.
I joined a volleyball team!!!!!!
Our team is called the Potluckers because we are a motley crew of ages, races, and abilities. Its gonna be a freaking blast and I cannot wait until I can go to my first practice. I used to be really good, but I'm rustier than the wheel well of a 71 Lincoln that been chillin in the junkyard for a few decades. I'm sure that I'll bump-set-spike my way to muscle soreness and a kind of fatigue that I haven't felt in a very long time, but I'm SOOOO looking forward to it. I don't even have to tell y'all that this is all thanks to my VSG. :D

Well, I gotta get up and fix The Kid some lunch so that he can stop pestering me.


Wednesday, June 2, 2010

VSG surgery 103....Oh, Sleevie

??5.0 weight today,  -0.8 lbs from last weight,  69.4 lbs lost to date

Today Sleevie has been feeling a bit uneasy. I tired to drink a mocha latte Atkin's shake (which is really good btw) and I took a few sips of it and just gave it to The Kid. It kinda felt like a lactose intolerance kind of upset, but then at the same time it didn't. It's really hard to describe. It wasn't necessarily related to my VSG because I had this kind of feeling before surgery.

What happened yesterday WAS totally the surgery though. I scarfed down the top off of two slices of pizza like a rabid hyena and for a minute I felt ok. That minute was short lived because before I knew it, Sleevie had put up a barricade and had started beating the food back up my esophagus. He was a traffic cop with a bad attitude and I was on the $hit end of the stick. Nasty, greasy, chewed up, low budget mozzarella oozed back up my throat in a far worse form than it went down. I tried to swallow it back down, but Sleevie just pushed back more and this time he threw in a heartburny feeling for good measure. Tired of fighting off the inevitable, I just went to the bathroom and let the foamy, greasy mess up out of me. I chewed up two Gaviscon, which really helped, and just laid on the chaise until it passed like 15 minutes later.

Well, about to go and guzzle some water so that I can hit my goals for the day.


Tuesday, June 1, 2010

VSG surgery 102

??5.8 weight today,  +0.8 lbs from last weight,  68.6 lbs lost to date

I'm gonna hafta buy me a measuring tape or something so that I can start taking track of my inches. I must be losing inches, I HAVE to be losing inches. This is my second straight week with no measurable weight loss on Bessie. I'm more active, social, my back doesn't hurt nearly as much, but I'm a numbers queen. Maybe the tape will be nicer to me than Bessie has been. Anyway, here is something interesting that I read about stalls.

Oh yeah, here's a pic of the three largest surgery scars that I promised.
My phone, tired of being bratty, decided that it finally wanted to send the picture. They look really big when I am looking down at them, but after seeing them in the picture I've decided that they don't look nearly as bad.

The surgery coordinator at the hospital called me and asked me if I would speak to one of the patients about the Sleeve. She said that I was doing really well and that I'd be the perfect person to speak with her.  Of course part of me was going, " Me? ME?!?!" It was still super flattering nonetheless. If I could blush, I'd have been redder than bulbous, bulging backside of a boisterous baboon.

Well, my little cousins are coming over so that I can all of the kids to the interactive water play area near my house, so I'm gonna get up off of my bum, and stop being a bum.


Waning Woman is sponsored by North Texas Bariatrics


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