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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

VSG surgery BFF's and bull$hit

??3.6   The scale is REALLY moving this week.

I'm officially at the point that I can  no longer say " I'm working in out" in the present tense. I can say it in the past tense as in " I worked out", but my ass isn't doing anything and I haven't been doing anything for at least the past two weeks. The thing that I talked about in this blog post  and in this one has happened to me. Friggin inertia is back at it again!  Can somebody please please please come drag me off of this couch and haul my ass to the gym?? I really need to be pushed...or pulled.....or dragged.....or whatever verb of forcible movement you choose to use.  I'll give you my address, you'll come [insert verb of forcible movement] me out of the house, we'll work out, and I'll be your best friend foreverever! We'll be like Spongebob and Patrick only a little less wet and a lot less fishy smelling!

So I volunteered to do the presentation tonight at TOPS, but I have no idea what to do. A week ago when I said I'd do it, I thought that I'd have plenty of time to have a 5 star presentation ready, but right now it looks like I'll be reading the nutrition facts off of a can of diet sunkist veeeeery slooooowly so that it take up the alloted 15-20 minutes. The problem that I have is that I think that telling grown people how to eat and how to exercise is a lesson in futility. We all know how to do it. We all know how to eat healthful foods and exercise. We know! All of that is boring to me and I don't really want to get in there with a dog and pony show.

Don't like drinking water? Add a dash of lemon juice.....YUCK!
Feel like eating cookies? Reach for a piece of fruit instead....UNFULFILLING!

Craving salty chips? Try unsalted, airpopped popcorn for a crunch....INSULTING TO MY TASTEBUDS!

Trying to lower your sodium intake? Load up on fresh herbs and spices....Umm NO!

Hungry? Try drinking a glass of water instead....BITCH I'M HUNGRY NOT THIRSTY!

On top of all of that, I personally think that its all bullshit. Losing weight and dieting  Is. Not. Fun. We've been sold a bill of goods about the whole thing. The Traditional Calorie Cutting Diet Industry has told us that we can lose weight, while eating the foods we love, and never be hungry. That's just a bold faced lie. If you're losing weight, you're gonna be hungry and there is nothing wrong with you if you are. You're supposed to be hungry because its your bodies way of telling you that you need more food. If you're tapping into your body's energy reserves, that means you're not taking in enough food, therefore your body is telling you that you need to frigging eat. Hunger and deprivation are a part of the traditional calorie counting approach to weight loss. People are lying to you.....and themselves!!.

I remember when I did WW I was hungry all the time and I brought it up at a meeting. You would have thought that I had a third eye in the middle of my forehead they way all of those heads whipped around and looked at me. I thought to myself, "Surely I can't be the only person in this room who is hungry all the time." I know that I wasn't the only person who was hungry I was just the only person with enough cajones to get up and rage against the machine.



  1. 'bitch i'm hungry, not thirsty' - i LOVE it! haha, sadly, you're so right. i don't know what cajones are, but i want some!

  2. You know you could write about a grey sock and I would enjoy it you are so funny. I know what you mean about hunger. I was also hungry all the time at WW! I am hoping the lack of stomach will stop that! Now get your ass to the gym so you can cheer me up with a funny story about that.


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