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Saturday, August 14, 2010

VSG surgery ........Bummedness and seeing

??4.2 UGH!!!

I've been sitting here for the last few days with a blog post brewing in my head, but I haven't really felt like writing it. Just been kinda bummed and I don't like to have too much bummedness in the Wanosphere.

I can start with something good though. I was at my parents' house and I went across the street to chat with some neighbors. I was sitting in the house talking and after about a minute one of them looked at me and said, "You're Suchandsuch? Suchandsuch from across the street?" I said, "Yes." He then replied, "Damn girl you done lost a lotta weight." The look on his face and the intonation in his voice actually made me chuckle. I was at my parents house not too long ago, so his reaction really surprised me.

I like it when people notice. It doesn't bother me at all when people comment on or compliment me on my weight loss or even call me skinny for that matter. I didn't get surgery for anyone other than myself, but it feels good to know that other people can see the effort......... I just wish that I could see it though and that's part of the bummedness.

I need to SEE something.

The scale is volleying between two numbers and that aint no fun at all. I'm a bit up or I'm a bit down, but I've been in this 3 lbs range for a while now. Just when I reach the low end of the range and I think "Yay, it might be moving!" it psyches my ass out. I'm not seeing it on the scale.

I keep trying to measure myself, but I think I'm doing that wrong, too. Without permanent marks on my body, I'm sure that I'm not measuring in the same spot all the time. I'm not seeing it on the tape.

I look in the mirror and I damn sure don't see it there. I was looking in the mirror and I thought that I looked bigger. Most of the time that I look in the mirror, I don't get bummed by what I see. The other day though, I was less than impressed with what was staring back at me. I don't know........ I'm not seeing it in the mirror.

I need to see something.



  1. I know how you feel. I don't really see it. I don't really feel it. I can kinda see that my collar bones are becoming noticable again. When I was skinny I felt like they were freakishly portruding. That's just the way I'm built. But other then that I don't see it. I still see a belly. I still see saggy old lady arms. I still see cottage cheese thighs. Last time I lost a large amount of wieght I could feel it the whole time. I mean I really felt it. But this time I just don't. Maybe I haven't lost enough yet. But I just don't feel it and it bumms me out too

  2. I gotta jump in on this one too! I don't really see it,but my pants are getting constantly bigger!...
    I work out a lot...and while I don't see the scale moving so fast, I keep in mind that muscle weighs more than fat!
    Plus it's going to take a little more than a year to get to your goal weight!...It's coming!
    Keep the faith girl!...You're doing fine!


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