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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

VSG surgery NSV's and koalakeys

No weight today

 Today fall roared in like a lion and I was more than happy to pull out this comfy gray sweater out of the closet and put it on for the day. I bought it months ago when Lane Bryant was having a huge sale when even the sale stuff was 40% off.
I tried it on today and it's too big.
With it being a sweater I can get away with it being a few sizes too big so all's not lost. The thing is, that during the summer, I never thought I would be the size that I am now, but I am. I'm the size that I am and I'm still losing weight. I knew I'd lose weight, I just don't know if ever really thought that it would be this much or so soon......hmmmmmmm......... I was even able to wear this leather jacket that I haven't worn in 5 years and let me tell you that was a really good feeling.

I think I ate too much today though. No let me rephrase that, I did eat too much today. Yesterday I did well staying away from the candy , but today that monkey jumped on my damn back and held on like a koala. It was a koalakey!!!!
Despite it's cute sounding name, the elusive koalakey is a formidable predator. While juvenile koalakeys are actually docile enough to be made into koala keys, adult koalakeys are ferocious, feral beasts with little regard for any life forms around them. In the recent weeks, there have been several substantiated reports of koalakey attacks, one deadly. These attacks tend to start around October 31 and peak during November and December.
koalakey victim
Will Power, of Dallas, TX was standing in front of McDonald's when the first koalakey attack happened. Subsequent attacks happened at Love at First Bite Bakery while simply picking up an order, and the Indian food buffet while he was just changing the sterno ( he works there). On November 1, while pushing a cart of vegetables to his car at the local big box retailer, he vanished into thin air and was reported missing by his wife, Temperance. He was later found decapitated, upright on the couch at home,  surrounded by a 3 foot high wall of candy wrappers. Ouch.
So "hide ya kids, hide ya wife, and hide ya husbands" cause the koalakeys are attackin' errbody out here.
Be safe during koalakey breeding season, yall.



  1. Usually I am a silent blog stalker but this one was really really funny. Koalakeys..I love it!

  2. Thanks for coming out to give your input. I really appreciate it.


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