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Monday, August 30, 2010

VSG surgery Tired and tireder

????

Jeepers, yall. I am SOOOO tired right now its not even funny. I left on Friday night to go to my hometown and I've been nonstop since. Even after I finally made it home yesterday evening, I was still running around like that damn rabbit after a bowl of Trix. I'd be resting right now if it weren't for the EVIL, EVIL, EVIL cherubic little face that that kept popping up at my bedside asking me for 15 million, bajillion, quatrillion and one things.
Mommy, I needs foods (yes, with an s), Mommy, its not working ( whatever the hell "it" is),
Mommy I can't eat the oval crackers, I need rectangle crackers.
At one point I sent him to his room to play on his vtech, forgetting that it wasn't plugged up. In his despair upon realizing that it wasn't working, that boy howled like a disembodied werewolf spirit. All I could do, in my own despair was just shake my damn head and get on up. UUUUUUGHHHHH!

Anyfreakingway, I'm pretty sure that part of the reason that I'm tired is because I haven't eaten anything of real substance since about 1:30 on Saturday. I'm one of those people who doesn't even think about food when I'm on the go, so it was pretty easy for me to forgo feed. Funny thing is, I don't remember if I was like this before surgery or not. I think I was, but I'm not quite sure...hhmmmmm..... PT had to stay for Meet the Teacher Night, so he's gonna swing by our favorite restaurant and bring something home for dinner.

Well, I just heard the garage so that mean sustenance is here......mmmmmmm

ttyl

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

VSG surgery The Century Club

same weight as yesterday. 100.4lbs lost from my highest weight.

I actually joined the Century Club yesterday, but I think that I  was in such a state of shock that I couldn't really be excited about it. I didn't want to jump the gun and have it be a huge fluke, so I waited until today to check my weight again. Lo and behold it was the same.

I'm happy about hitting 100, but weirdly I'm not in a celebratory mood. Maybe its because I've hit my prepreggo weight, got a new middle number, dropped to a new notch on the scale, and hit 100 all the the space of just about a week and I'm just plumb celebrated out. Maybe all of these milestones( that really are great) are coming in waaaay too fast and my conveyor belt of a mind is getting jammed up I can't process them all at once. I just don't really feel anything.....hmmmmm........While I'm not feeling particularly celebratory, I am feeling really grateful.

I don't want to be too long winded or saccharine, so I will simply tell you this---Thank you all for being a part of this and celebrating and supporting my journey.

ttyl

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

VSG surgery BFF's and bull$hit

??3.6   The scale is REALLY moving this week.

I'm officially at the point that I can  no longer say " I'm working in out" in the present tense. I can say it in the past tense as in " I worked out", but my ass isn't doing anything and I haven't been doing anything for at least the past two weeks. The thing that I talked about in this blog post  and in this one has happened to me. Friggin inertia is back at it again!  Can somebody please please please come drag me off of this couch and haul my ass to the gym?? I really need to be pushed...or pulled.....or dragged.....or whatever verb of forcible movement you choose to use.  I'll give you my address, you'll come [insert verb of forcible movement] me out of the house, we'll work out, and I'll be your best friend foreverever! We'll be like Spongebob and Patrick only a little less wet and a lot less fishy smelling!

So I volunteered to do the presentation tonight at TOPS, but I have no idea what to do. A week ago when I said I'd do it, I thought that I'd have plenty of time to have a 5 star presentation ready, but right now it looks like I'll be reading the nutrition facts off of a can of diet sunkist veeeeery slooooowly so that it take up the alloted 15-20 minutes. The problem that I have is that I think that telling grown people how to eat and how to exercise is a lesson in futility. We all know how to do it. We all know how to eat healthful foods and exercise. We know! All of that is boring to me and I don't really want to get in there with a dog and pony show.

Don't like drinking water? Add a dash of lemon juice.....YUCK!
 
Feel like eating cookies? Reach for a piece of fruit instead....UNFULFILLING!

Craving salty chips? Try unsalted, airpopped popcorn for a crunch....INSULTING TO MY TASTEBUDS!

Trying to lower your sodium intake? Load up on fresh herbs and spices....Umm NO!

Hungry? Try drinking a glass of water instead....BITCH I'M HUNGRY NOT THIRSTY!

On top of all of that, I personally think that its all bullshit. Losing weight and dieting  Is. Not. Fun. We've been sold a bill of goods about the whole thing. The Traditional Calorie Cutting Diet Industry has told us that we can lose weight, while eating the foods we love, and never be hungry. That's just a bold faced lie. If you're losing weight, you're gonna be hungry and there is nothing wrong with you if you are. You're supposed to be hungry because its your bodies way of telling you that you need more food. If you're tapping into your body's energy reserves, that means you're not taking in enough food, therefore your body is telling you that you need to frigging eat. Hunger and deprivation are a part of the traditional calorie counting approach to weight loss. People are lying to you.....and themselves!!.

I remember when I did WW I was hungry all the time and I brought it up at a meeting. You would have thought that I had a third eye in the middle of my forehead they way all of those heads whipped around and looked at me. I thought to myself, "Surely I can't be the only person in this room who is hungry all the time." I know that I wasn't the only person who was hungry I was just the only person with enough cajones to get up and rage against the machine.

ttyl

Friday, August 20, 2010

VSG surgery Prepreggo Weight!!!!!!!!!!!


?? On the day of all days, I still managed to forget my weight. I actually did hit it yesterday, but its wasn't my official first-thing-in-the-morning-right-after-i-pee weight so it wasn't officially official official. I even took a second weight today that was even lower than my official weight, so it finally looks like everything is back on track. I'm So Excited that I could be doing the Neutron Dance while Dancing on the Ceiling in my New Shoes. Instead, I'm sitting here on my ever decreasing rump banging out a blog post. Its probably better that way. The last time I tried dancing on the ceiling there were dogs yelping, grown men crying, and sections of my living room floor that got up, walked out and said, "I quit this bitch."
Not. Pretty.
I couldn't let such a monumentally momentous moment pass by without making a commemorative blog post so there it is.

ttyl

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

VSG surgery Green eyes and eternal damnation

??? I weighed myself twice today ( I know..... I know. I'm just SOOOOOO close) and  with one of them had broken the magic threshold and I was at a new second number.

I really don't have a lot to say to day, but I really felt like getting on here and blogging. The things that's been on my mind for the past 30 minutes or so is BLOG ENVY!! I am seriously afflicted with it. There are some people that I follow who write UH-mazingly well and I'm just like, " Oh my God, I wanna be like them when I grow up." One of them has a bazillion followers, another if freakishly beautiful with a bazillion followers, another is just plain freakishly beautiful, another one can somehow articulate her thoughts without EVER using profanity, quite a few of the people that I follow are seriously talented, yall.

Its not that I think that I'm bad or anything, I just want to get inside their heads like a brain sucking leech and figure out what makes them tick. How in the hell do they come up with some of the stuff that they come up with??  Speaking of hell, apparently that where I'm headed...and I'm going to have my eyes sewn shut with wire and dipped into freezing cold water cause that's what happens to green eyed monsters. If I can get some more followers there is a small chance that my blog envy will disappear. Then, I won't be banished to the depths of hell and I can skip having to catch that express train. So if any of you care enough to save my wretched soul, scroll about halfway down the page and click my "follow" button. You know you wanna do it.

Well, I've been slacking on my water today, so I'm about to get up and get me a nice refreshing glass of the not so good stuff.

ttyl

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

VSG surgery Bubble guts and Wishes

??0.0

Bessie has been moving for these last few days and if all things hold out, I am 1 lb away from hitting my prepreggo weight. It would be awesome if I could get it in the next few days on or before my 6 month surgiversary on the 19th, but even losing 1/10 of a pound would be great because I'd be at a new middle number. Either way it would be an incredible way to celebrate my first 6 months. To give myself the best chance of making that happen, I'm gonna WORK! Protein shakes twice a day, cardio, and a sensible dinner portion. ( i might be lying about the cardio....we'll see)

The other night I was eating before bed a-gain, but instead of something healthy like protein, it was carrot cake. What in the hell was I thinking? Anyway, I wasn't eating it because I was hungry, I was eating it because it was there. As I was shoveling the cake into my gullet, the sadistic part of me said, " I wish that this cake would make me sick and then I wouldn't even be tempted by it." About 15 minutes later I went to bed, wish unfulfilled, and drifted off to dreamland.

An hour later I was awakened by an intense cramping pain in my belly. Lawd-a-mercy chile!!!!! I jumped up went to the bathroom to see if the cake could come out in anyway possible, but nothing happened. I felt a little better even though nothing had passed, so I got back into bed. As soon as I laid down the pain came back and I popped right back up like a jack in the box and rushed right back to the bathroom. That damned, dirty, depraved, delinquent dessert was playing games with me. My pain ebbed and flowed and I ran back and forth from the bed to the bath and the bath to the bed for a good 15 minutes. I shoulda just stopped in the living room and laid on the floor at the halfway point.. After a few more moments of OMG!OMG!WHATINTHEHELLDIDIDOTOMYSELF sweat inducing panic I went to the bathroom for one final performance and the carrot cake exited stage left........Whew! I won't be eating that for a very, very, very, very, very, very, very long time.
is it a devil or a vampire?.... hehe. Its a dampire. Whatever it is, its EVIL!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

VSG surgery ........Bummedness and seeing

??4.2 UGH!!!

I've been sitting here for the last few days with a blog post brewing in my head, but I haven't really felt like writing it. Just been kinda bummed and I don't like to have too much bummedness in the Wanosphere.

I can start with something good though. I was at my parents' house and I went across the street to chat with some neighbors. I was sitting in the house talking and after about a minute one of them looked at me and said, "You're Suchandsuch? Suchandsuch from across the street?" I said, "Yes." He then replied, "Damn girl you done lost a lotta weight." The look on his face and the intonation in his voice actually made me chuckle. I was at my parents house not too long ago, so his reaction really surprised me.

I like it when people notice. It doesn't bother me at all when people comment on or compliment me on my weight loss or even call me skinny for that matter. I didn't get surgery for anyone other than myself, but it feels good to know that other people can see the effort......... I just wish that I could see it though and that's part of the bummedness.

I need to SEE something.

The scale is volleying between two numbers and that aint no fun at all. I'm a bit up or I'm a bit down, but I've been in this 3 lbs range for a while now. Just when I reach the low end of the range and I think "Yay, it might be moving!" it psyches my ass out. I'm not seeing it on the scale.

I keep trying to measure myself, but I think I'm doing that wrong, too. Without permanent marks on my body, I'm sure that I'm not measuring in the same spot all the time. I'm not seeing it on the tape.

I look in the mirror and I damn sure don't see it there. I was looking in the mirror and I thought that I looked bigger. Most of the time that I look in the mirror, I don't get bummed by what I see. The other day though, I was less than impressed with what was staring back at me. I don't know........ I'm not seeing it in the mirror.

I need to see something.


ttyl

Monday, August 9, 2010

VSG surgery locomotives and chicken

??2.8

I had a long and TIRING weekend. On Saturday I was dog tired from being in the life sucking, energy zapping, TX heat and I was whinier than The Kid by the time I made it in. I hadn't eaten anything all day, but even though I was tired I had to get my protein in. I stumbled wearily to the bed, disrobing on the way, and while waiting on PT to bring me dinner in bed, I fell fast asleep. He woke me up to eat and with a ferocity matched only by feral children, I devoured the chicken in front of me. I didn't even sit up to eat. I rolled over toward the nightstand on which it was placed, inhaled, and rolled right back over. I'd eaten WAAAAY too fast, but I was to tired to really give a much of thought to it so I went back to sleep........ zzzzzzzz......zzzzzz...........zzzzzzzzzzzz Cough!!
Splutter!! 
Gasp!!!
That chicken was barreling up my esophagus like a runaway train. It wasn't a nice cuddly train like Thomas, but a raging train to hell with acrid black smoke billowing in its wake. A train just like this one
That was an UNPLEASANT experience. MY throak was on fire and even when all of the offending bird was out, I was still coughing like a mofo. UGGGGHHHHH! I learned my lesson and I hope you did to. Just to recap

1) Don't eat  too close to bedtime ( or while you're sleeping)
2) Don't eat lying down
3) Don't eat too fast. Chew people! Chew.
4) And damn sure don't do ALL of the above

ttyl

Friday, August 6, 2010

VSG surgery Transmission fluid and donuts

??2.6

My scars don't look so bad
Here's the latest progess pic that I posted a few days ago on my FB page. I know that I have some readers who don't Facebook from a book of faces so I'm going to try to post more pictures here.

I found out not too long ago that my little sister actually reads my blog. I had no idea that she was reading it until she posted a comment about this entry here. That was a great surprise and it pretty much canceled out the other backstabbing Judas who also happens to be a member of my family. Just like I was surprised about all of the negativity being hurled my way, I was equally surprised by the support that my little sister giving my behind the scenes. Having said all of that, I have now had to completely reformulate and remix my blog entry for the day. I waaaas going to tell you all about the time that she went to jail for shoplifting camouflage bandannas, coffee filters, transmission fluid, and a Tupac cd and doing donuts in the Wally World parking lot in an 81 Ford Escort while yelling out of the window " Humm-yo-rain-gain-kyo"* Since she's now proven her utmost devotion to the Waning Woman cause, I'm gonna pump my brakes on that one. So lets hear it for little sisters with long rap sheets*, long hair, and arachnophobia. I love you sis!

ttyl

disclaimer*
anything with an asterisk is purely a figment of my demented  and twisted imagination and is in no way a real reflection of my little sister, her attitude, her hair ( well her hair REALLY is long) her taste in music, her taste in cars, her criminal history or lack thereof, but it really doesn't matter because I can say what i want to say because she can't WHOOP me. In fact, I'm putting a disclaimer on this disclaimer to say its all true unless she comes to my house and WHOOPS me. Until then, it stands.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

VSG surgery Poke and grits with hot sauce..ewwww

??3.2

I went to TOPS last night only to weigh in because I had WAAAAY too much stuff to do to stay for the entire meeting. According to their scales, I've lost 5 lbs in the last 2 weeks, but I think that I wasn't weighed correctly two weeks ago and that my weight was higher than it should have been. I'm not just saying this now, I thought the same thing two weeks ago when I got off the scale. Hopefully I won't be too tired from this family reunion that I HAVE to go to this weekend and I can make a full meeting next week. One of the older members, a firecracker named Mildred, left me the sweetest message telling me how much she misses me when I'm not there. That was pretty damn sweet.

I don't know if I ever told yall this, but in the first two months after surgery I had orthostatic hypotension. If I was sitting and then I got up, my field of vision would go dark and then it would slowly return back to normal over about 10-15 second.  It is something that's fairly common, and while having your field of vision go dark might have your mind conjuring up visions of malignant brain eating tumors, its really benign. I'm no doctor, so if it is something that you're experiencing you might want to consult your physician, but chances are they'll tell you to just drink more water and get up more slowly.

I really need to get up and fix something for dinner, but today I don't really feel like eating. I had a protein shake and some turkey breast medallions and if it were up to me ( well, it kinda is PT and The Kid can go buy something) we'd be eating poke and grits for dinner.....poke out your lips and grit your teeth. Its not just that I don't want to eat, I actually feel an aversion to eating today. I feel like I could get nauseated really, really easily. I have a stomach of titanium and nothing really makes me sick. Seriously. I could watch an autopsy while eating and happily nosh away like nothing is wrong. Today though I saw The Kid eating something that absolutely made my belly churn. Not boogers or anything that might legitimately make one's stomach turn. It was crackers with Taco Bell mild sauce. UGH! My mouth is even starting to water at just the thought of it. *shuddering* Anyway, I'll leave you with a link to some other shudder inducing foods. CLICK ME! for culinary carnage.

ttyl

Monday, August 2, 2010

VSG surgery Windmills and wrongness

??
I'm still busy, but hopefully for the next week I'll have a reprieve. I'm SOOOOOO looking forward to not waking up at god-knows-when o'clock.

This whole scale not moving thing is Not.
Fun.
At.
All.
I'm not really down about it, but I'm certainly not gonna be doing cartwheels and herkies. I know that I've said that all VSG victories aren't tied to the scale and all of that positive malarkey (well, it wasn't malarkey when I said it then) but right now I really need this scale to MOVE. I really need for my new second number to be here.
I'm thisfrigginclose to being the weight I was before I got pregnant and Bessie part deux and Addie just wont let me have it. Why won't they let me be great? I'm telling you its about to be some head bussin, table flippin, windmillin fury. For those of you not familiar with the old school martial arts style of fighting, the windmill, I assure you that it is no joke. My friend, who has a little a lot of sugar in his tank, windmilled two certified gangstas to the ground in the middle of a packed dancefloor. They thought that because he had a little sashay in his step that he was easy pickins. Hahahah.....WRONG!
Wronger than two left shoes.
Wronger than peanut butter and no jelly.
Wronger than french fries and mustard.
Wronger than spending 10 G's on surgery and not losing any real weight for a few weeks and then going crazy and trying to windmill people to death b/c the scale isn't moving only they're not even real people but characters that are a figment of my imagination and then telling people about the crazy so that makes me for real FOR REAL crazy because that is something that I should probably never tell anyone but I DO and even though I know that I won't lose weight every single day the irrational part of my brain takes over my fingers and my body...and...and....Well you get the idea.

Just move already, Bessie part deux!

ttyl

Waning Woman is sponsored by North Texas Bariatrics

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