Click the links below for more info. You know you wanna do it!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

VSG surgery Fat and feelings

??3.0 down 2.6 lbs from yesterday

I was so relieved when I set foot on the scale and it went back into my comfortable territory. I hopped on Bessie part deux 3 times just to make sure that my eyes weren't deceiving me. The third time was actually 4/10ths lower, but I said, eh what the hell and took the bigger number.

I was doing ok on the water last week, but not having protein shakes this week has really made a difference in my hydration levels. I have two shakes a day at 22 ozs and if I'm not drinking them, that pretty much means I'm in the red. For the past few days I've been waking up with a dry nose and mouth and it's very unpleasant. With shakes on hand, hopefully I can get back into my routine and stay on top of errthang. I bought a trio of nifty reusable water cups so I can hopefully psych myself into thinking the water that flows from my fridge is something a little more eleganté than what it is. Nothing classes up the joint like lids and straws!

There's a lot of stuff going on with me and I just don't know where to start. I found out during the course of my therapy and treatment for the accident that I have a herniated disk. The doc thinks that with tlc and proper treatment it is something that might resolve itself, but...... I just don't know. I feel like I'm too young to have a bad back. That's an ailment that instantly ages you like 15 years. *sigh* I still have neck pain, headaches, sometimes my ankle goes all wonky, but the herniated disk diagnosis feels like one more nail in the rapidly closing coffin of my youth.

Sometimes I wish that I could wake up in my old body just so that I can really see how far I've come. It seems like my old body was something that happened to somebody else, like its not me. It seems so far removed, but I still remember.
I remember not being able to wash dishes for more than 5 minutes at a time because my back would be groaning for relief.
I remember standing in my closet looking at clothes that wouldn't fit, trying to find something, anything, that I could wear.
I remember not wanting to go anywhere because of whispers, and stares, and " Oh my God she's gotten so big" comments.
I remember these things, but I wish that just for one moment, I could feel them. If I could feel them, then I could do more than remember, I could really, truly appreciate this journey. I'm not saying that I don't, I'm just saying........

ttyl

Friday, December 24, 2010

VSG surgery And the winner of the Gastric Sleeve Book is.......

 



Munchkin and Lady Luck 1!!! Congrats!!

Send me your addresses and I will get the books out to you........one day. lol There may be delay with all of the holiday stuff going on, but I'll get them to you.

Thanks to all of you who participated and a HUGE thanks to Dr. Alvarez of Endobariatric.com


ttyl

Thursday, December 23, 2010

VSG surgery Sleevie Wonder and Dr. Alvarez

??2.2

Yesterday I went to La Madeleine had the quiche and got a box of linzer cookies to go. The quiche was incredible, but the linzer cookie,
Do.
Not.
Ever.
Buy.
Them.
They are addictive! You will spend way too much money buying them, way too much time driving to get them, and way too many nights explaining to your children that you couldn't make it too open house/ pta/ meetings/holiday pageants because you were out cheating with the French hussy. Voulez vous coucher avec moi? Mais oui!

The good news is, I ate them and enjoyed them in the moment. There was no inhaling, no crumb faced glassy eyed stupor, no panic. I savored them. :)

The contest closes tomorrow, so if you want to enter, contact me in via email, comment, FB, morse code, smoke signal, telepathy, or by fedexed bribe of linzer cookies. If you're concerned about privacy, we can work something out. Anyhoo, I wanted to share with you two HILARIOUS pics I got as entries into the contest.  Enjoy!

Monday, December 20, 2010

VSG surgery Dr. Guillermo Alvarez and The Gastric Sleeve Book

The ??2.6

So here's the big news! Dr Guillermo Alvarez, a prominent bariatric surgeon, has generously donated autographed copies of his new book The Gastric Sleeve. While he was not my surgeon, he is one of the warmest and most gracious people that I've had the pleasure of getting to know in my new post surgery life. He is a rockstar in the bariatric and world, yet he takes the time to answer questions no matter how small.

If you're preop especially you want this, but there is some great info for us postops as well. Enter for you or if you know someone who can use this book, give it to them. If you want to enter and you are already a blog follower and/or FB fan, you will get extra chances to win. (i just made this list this morning so I know who you are)

SOOOOOO, if you want a chance to win one of Dr. Alvarez's books do up to 4 things listed below for up to 4 chances to win.
1. Become a blog follower or subscribe via email (look on right hand side of page)
or
2. "Like" the Waning Woman FB page
or
3. Grab the Sleevie Wonder button and add it to your page
or
4. Follow me on Twitter and retweet this giveaway.
or
5. Photoshop Sleevie Wonder doing something wild and email it to me waningwoman at g m ail.com
or
6.Photoshop Dr. Alvarez's head onto this picture or another awesome rockstar pic and also email it to me

To enter, please leave a comment with the number of things you did and if you aren't a FB fan or blog follower, a way to get in touch with you. The contest closes on Friday, so get to gettin y'all!

PS. Contact Dr. Alvarez on twitter or his FB fan page and let him know how cool this is.

ttyl

Thursday, December 16, 2010

VSG surgery Back fat and diabetes

??3.8............ 120.2 lbs lost to date

So, I did it. I've lost 120 lbs in less than 10 months. I've lost 1.1935 Nicole Richies! If I keep my original goal of 185 then I'm more than 75% of the way there. Since I've lost the weight and know how I look and how I feel, I think that I want to adjust my goal weigh upwards. I'm almost there.

30 lbs ago
One goal that I can't tie to any specific number is back fat eradication. Overall, I'm not complaining, but if you look at the pic from yesterday you can see the piece of Addie that I want gone. (That "shadow" at my elbow is back fat trench). I hope that I can make life uncomfortable enough for that cotdamaged *&#**^@%%$$@ that she will pack a bag and run away like the delinquent that she is. I really don't care what happens to her. She can end up on the streets on NY sleeping on cardboard box beds, babbling incoherently while wearing a crooked wig like shes on an episode of Bobby and Whitney Intervention.
 
Size 14. Look at the gap!
Unquenchable thirst grabbed a hold of me last week like I was traversing the Sahara in an all black Klan suit with Uggs. No matter what I did, I could. not. stay. hydrated. It got so bad that it was waking me up out of my sleep every single night. I didn't say about it until I could make sure what was going on with me, because excessive thirst is one of the hallmarks of being a diabetical, yes, I said diabetical. Fortunately, blood sugar testing kits are super duper cheap so I went to Walmart on one extra thirsty night and picked up everything I needed for less than 18 bucks. I made it back to the car ripped into that package before I was even in the car good. I checked out my blood sugar and WHEW!!!! everything was ok.
I'm still not sure what the cause of it was, but I'm doing better this week.

One of my fellow WLS bloggers, who happens to be my top commeneter, is having a 55.00 gift code giveaway on her page. Check it out. She super talented, funny as hell, and does a mean Eskimo impression.

So go hit up Miss Chrissy, yall.

ttyl



Wednesday, December 15, 2010

VSG surgery Cookies and Sleevie Wonder

??4.2

Dinner last night was a vegan tamale ( the bomb!!!) and PT decided that he wanted to make some cookies for dessert. When they came out of the oven, there was just a hint of a light brown ring encircling them while the middles were still soft. They smelled delicious! I grabbed two....then one more........and one more. And only then did I realize that I overdid it.
I wasn't the number of them, it was only 4, but it was the way that I ate them. I ate them SO fast that I didn't realize that they were cloying sweet and not really Sleevie Wonder friendly until I'd finished them all. I cookie monstered those things and before I knew it, I was sitting there with a sick feeling in my belly.
While I know that I will never be one of those sanctimonious, transfat crucifying people who eschews cookies and the good stuff for life, part of me wishes that I could be.
I wish that The Beast could be banished to some far away island or be cursed like Medusa to live trapped forever in stone.
I wish that instead of abhorring cardio, I adored cardio.
I wish that one instance of mindless eating could just be one instance of mindless eating instead of the potential first step down that slippery slope.
But wishes don't come true cause if they did, I would have wished those wishes a long time ago......and I never would have needed surgery.

This isn't just a woefest, though. Even with the cookie episode last night, my weight wasn't negatively affected. I'm lighter than I was yesterday and I could even potentially be out of this middle number by the end of the year. If not that, I know without a shadow of a doubt I will hit 120 lbs lost this month.  AND, I only ate one tamale last night. :)


ttyl

Monday, December 13, 2010

VSG surgery Big things and scent

??5.something.

I've got something SUPER, DUPER, fantastically great that is about to come up and you want to be a FB fan and a blog/twitter follower. When I found out that it was actually going to happen, I was so excited that I actually ran in place and started waving my hands frantically. I can't tell you what it is just yet, but the first huge clue sounds like crescendo lariat trick  I'm telling you, you want to become a fan and/or a follower now.

Today didn't start out the best way that it could have. Normally I wake up and have my Premier protein shake and a Propel or water, but this morning I had a late start and barely had time to brush my teeth before my ride was here to pick me up for therapy. Since the car accident, I've been going to physical therapy and I still have a lot more to go.
Anyway, I'm laying on the traction table and there are the two women having the most inappropriate conversation in the history of all things inapproriate! Lady A was telling Lady B that she has no scent at all "down there". Lady A added, " Even after (intercourse) when you have all of them secretions and stuff, I still don't have no scent." Lady B said something to Lady A, but then Lady A replied, " You can ask any man I done ever been with that I don't have no scent at all. I was blessed like that." OMGWTFisgoingoninhere?!?!?!?! I was on my phone tweeting about this bullshit in real time. Then, Lady A turned to Lady B and said, "Mama, ..........." The rest of that sentence, whatever the hell it was, was a complete and total blur to me. As soon as I heard the word "Mama" my brain, in a state of disbelief, ceased to function. This takes inappropriateness to a level reserved for perverted, bicycle seat sniffers. That was just all the way wrong. I hope that this tasteless mother/daughter duo isn't there on Wednesday.

Well, I have some more tamales to make, so I better get off my ass and get to work.
ttyl

Thursday, December 9, 2010

VSG surgery Quinoa and Veggies

??4.2

Yesterday I don't know what got into me, but for dinner I wanted to cook quinoa. I've never eaten it before, never cooked it before, but because it is protein packed grain ( win-win ) I figured it was worth going to my local Sprouts to see if I could find some. And I did :) Since it is cooked pretty much like rice, I decided to make a variation of a rice based dish for my first go at it.


 Fried Quinoa with Ginger Soy Chicken Tenders for Two

Here's a rough recipe
1 cup of quinoa
2 cups of water
1 carrot- sliced
1 zucchini-diced
1 small onion- sliced
1 clove of garlic
small bunch of broccoli
cooking oil of your choice

This is where I didn't measure out quantities
about a lb and a half of chicken tenders
a few splashes of Soy Sauce
dash of fish sauce (optional)
pepper to taste
1/8 to 1/4 tsp ginger-I used dried
packet of sweetener

Mix together all ingredients for chicken and set aside.

Add quinoa and water to a pot, bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium low and cover with a lid.
Wait about 8 minutes and add a small quantity of oil to skillet and cook carrots first
Wait another 2 minutes and then add other veggies.
Cook for about another 5-8 minutes until desired color and consistency.
Remove quinoa from pot and put it into the skillet with the vegetables on high heat.
The quinoa will be dancing in the skillet! 
Cook for another 2-3 minutes, remove from heat and then place quinoa mixture into serving bowl

Use the same skillet on medium heat to cook the chicken. Don't flip until there is a good ring of white around the edges so that it gets good color. Cook until done and voila!!!


mmmmm

Enjoy!

Monday, December 6, 2010

VSG surgery Ghetto and Santa

??5.2 I think


The Kid is SO excited for Christmas this year which in turn makes me excited. This is the first year that he actually gets it. Last year he was sitting around slack jawed, glossy eyed, and wanting to go back to sleep during Christmas, but this year he's making gift requests. Anyway, he wanted to go see Santa and there was one at the Walgreen's near our house, so we went.
We walk into Walgreen's, see a man with a Santa suit on.  He is standing around in cosmetics chatting it up with the girl at the counter and he then turns to us and says, , " Hey....uh.... yaw....uh.... wanna take a pitcher wit Santa." Pt and I looked at each other thinking "This is nice. The store employees are really getting into the spirit" We walk over to the picture area, and he plops his ass down in chair and we look at each other. This ghetto MF IS Santa. OH hell to the NO!
On top of having diction problems, crooked facial hair, and an ill fitting suit, this Santa was fighting another uphill struggle. Some stuff just is what it is.
Martin Luther King is Black.
George Washington is White.
Oprah is Black.
Santa is WHITE!!!!
 You have to step ya game up and be the BEST Santa you can be if you are an un-White Santa. You cannot be a low budget, garage sale, Blue Light Special, Santa Claus if you are Black.

good Black Santa


good Asian Santa
Good Indian Santa. he's not even trying
I'm just sayin....













Now this right here transcends race!












As I said on my FB page, we are in a recession and there are too many people looking for work. There is no reason at all to hire a raggedy Santa. Just get some good Santas for these chirruns, that's all I'm sayin!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

VSG surgery Snow and Thomas

??5.2

This isn't really going to be much of an entry today. I just wanted to share with you one of my favorite winter songs-and it comes from Thomas the Train. That's all.


ttyl

Thursday, December 2, 2010

VSG surgery Hangovers and bones

??5.0 119lbs to date!

I woke up feeling like crap today because yesterday I was slacking like hell on my water. I don't know what got into me ( apparently not water) but I only had a protein shake and I do not remember having anything else to drink. I have one of those all night bender headaches, which is not surprising considering that most of the effects of a hangover are from dehydration. I think that the next time I feel like this I want to have partied with Jose, Jim, and had Sex on the Beach with Tom Collins during a Hurricane under a Starry Night. There.

that skelly has SASS!!!
Weird thing about losing weight is you start finding stuff. Not the fluffy, this-is-the-reason-I-had-surgery-in-the-first-place stuff like energy or self esteem. No, nothing like that. I mean things like the sternum and your xyphoid process, your coccyx ( get your mind outta the gutter), BONES people.
I was in panic the the day convinced that some alien life form was going to burst forth from my chest in a crimson spray of flesh, blood, and sad boob bits. I yelled for PT to come into the room

ww- what the hell is this?
pt- what the hell is what?
ww- THIS!!, pointing to the alien fetus eruption point.
pt- that?
ww- yeah
pt- that's supposed to be there.
ww- is it supposed to feel like that?
pt- yeah, I'm pretty sure it is
ww-hmm

xyphoid process.
"This" happened to be my xyphoid process. Jesus, I wasn't fat for all that long, but I guess even a few years and you start forgetting what your normal anatomy is. Anyway, while I'm finding things, I hope that I can find a nice rack somewhere.


ttyl

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