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Monday, March 21, 2011

VSG Feeling and Seeing

??4.8 I think

Sad pig :(
I've been feeling fat for the past 4 or 5 days or so and I've been feeling a bit of the sads about it. Before you tell me that "fat isn't a feeling", it damn sure is. If it is something that I experience and sense within my body, it IS a feeling. Nobody says that feeling pretty isn't a feeling and this is the Exact.
Same. 
Fucking.
Thing.
Fat is a feeling, but it is not an emotion. Any sort of emotion that I feel is a result of my own crazy. *sigh*
Have you ever heard of the Tyra term smizing? Smilin wi cho eyes. Well, I look in the mirror and my thighs look huge, my stomach looks bloated and distended and I'm just not feeling myself.
Lyzing.
There has been a lot of lyzing going on in my bathroom lately.
I know that its not real (or is it?) but I can't help feeling how I feel about it. There are lots of imaginary concepts, ideas, and objects that elicit strong emotional responses.
Have you ever had a dream that bothered you for the rest of the day?
A ghost story?
A daydream about winning the lotto?
Lyzing???
hmmmmm.
I'm a little crazy, but I think we all are a little crazy in our own ways.

12 comments:

  1. Fat is totally a feeling! Anyone who tries to say differently is just silly. I call it feeling "moo" (ya know, like a cow?). Sorry you're having that sort of day. *hugs* Been there and will likely be there again.

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  2. I can hear you, WW. I have plenty of emotional days where emotionally I'm all over the place and Feeling fat may not be recognized as an emotion, but I damn sure feel it from time to time.

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  3. You are hilarious and you have a very authentic "voice" with your writing. I'm there with ya, it's a feeling!

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  4. Kelshei, I haven't felt like this is a while, but you're right, it will happen again. I just gotta stay the course.

    Digitarii, you said exactly what most of us feel but are too afraid to put into words.

    Hello Anonymous, welcome! I hope to see more of you around.

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  5. hang in there honey. we all have days like this. you LOOK FABULOUS! step away from the mirror and look at some before & after pics! i'm sure it'll pick you right up. <3

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  6. I wish feeling fat was the worst of my emotional issues. There's a certain someone out there that I want back in my life more than anything but she's with someone else right now so I have to stay calm and patient right now. In my heart, I know we'll get back together in the future. Just right now, there are days when the pain of missing her is almost enough to kill me outright. Those days I have to focus and let the pain go as best I can.

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  7. thanks, Lisa. I need all of the support I can get right now,

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  8. talk about feeling fat. i depressed the shit out of myself last friday trying to find a blouse. i make everything look crappy, i swear. and now i've got to find something to wear to a baby shower in 2 weeks and i'm dreading shopping again. i can't believe i use to hate shopping when i was a size 9. now i'm somewhere near 14 and i've got hate handles. :(

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  9. I hear that, Vanita. I've come to the conclusion that as we approach certain points in this journey, our bodies distort the way things hang. One size is probably too big, the next size down is too small. We're going to have to push on through until the next size down fits properly.

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  10. Hot dog...I have this post that I'm knocking around, I just haven't had time to write it yet. I have days where I "feel" more fat than others. I know exactly what you mean. For me, it has nothing to do with what I see in the mirror. That hasn't changed much for me. I "feel" fat mostly when I'm thinking too hard about how much weight I still have to lose. I "feel" fat and pissed. But then I think about where I've come from. That seems to help for a day or two. LOL.

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  11. Vanita, I know how you feel about shopping. It was something that I never liked to do and in fact, it depressed me. When you don't feel good in your skin, nothing else really matters. But I think that you are an amazing woman. :)

    Angel, it really is a rollercoaster ride. I'm glad I've got you to stand in line with me/

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  12. wow talk about hit em where you feel it the most. I was almost kinda starting to think I was getting kinda "fine" and then somebody had the nerve to capture me on film and i happen to see it. I was thinking to myself, "COTDAMMAGE" I have been fooling even my own self with my own self image sheesh.. Still a loooongggg wayz to go.

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