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Friday, March 25, 2011

VSG surgery Dogs and Trash

ಠ_ಠ Yeah that's how my face looks right now.

My dog's cellmate if she doesn't act right!
Have you ever seen a creature so ugly that it was cute? Well, there is this little dog that comes into our yard EVERYDAY that is so ugly, it's just fucking ugly. We thought that he was homeless or abandoned at first (yeah, he's that scruffy) but somebody told us that they saw him coming from the alley on the street somewhere over from us. Our dog started to leave the yard with this cur and they would be Huckfinning and Tomsawyering all over the neighborhood just doing stuff. It wasn't so bad at first, but it got progressively worse. She started bolting out of door and not coming when we called her, and as a result any outside time that she gets it now courtesy of the dreaded chain. Yes PETA, come and get me now cause I am guilty as all hell. Oh yeah, I also wear leather, lustfully eat ribeyes, and wear coon skin panties. Only the finest of materials get to nestle up to my lady bits!
PT hates this mutt with a passion that usually reserved only for someone who has stolen something from you. If he could catch it, put it in a box and then mail it to Namibia, he would. Only I think it'd come back just like that DAMNED CAT!

I was snoozing along comfortably this morning when PT angrily came into the room and angrily demanded that I GET UP AND SEE THIS!!!
Me: What?!?!
Me: Oh my God! UUUUGGGHHH! (At this point I thought that maybe our dog had done something)
PT went around the corner so fast it looked like he was goosestepping. He flung open the garage door and screamed LOOK!
Somehow the mutt had gotten into the garage and torn up a bag of trash.
Me: How'd it get in here?
PT: Still talking in all caps. I DON'T KNOW. YO, YOU NEED TO CALL ANIMAL CONTROL!
I gave him a pissed off Black Woman "mmm-hmm" and walked right back around the corner and got into bed.
Now I'm pissed। You mean to tell me that I got woken up out of my sleep for a bag of trash being strewn about the garage? Where the hell they do that at? As if I somehow willed this animal to come into our to garage and personally deliver PT a shit start to his day. I am so pissed right now that PT might be a chalk outline on an episode of the First 48. I'm just saying. While the geeks are here looking for evidence, I'll be on the next thing smoking to Guamia. I know people.

Image: Michelle Meiklejohn /


  1. Lol. My husband and I have dumb arguments like that all the time. You could have written that word for word about my household.

  2. We'll at least he didn't take to the car with a broom and a butcher knife. One morning, when my mom, my brother, and I lived together, two dogs turned our trash can over. My brother's VERY afraid of dogs, so when I left, I told him he needed to pick up the trash but kinda forgot the dogs part. I figured they'd be gone by the time he got out there. He peeked his head out of the door, saw the dogs, and went into a rage. He ran into the kitchen, got the butcher knife, and the broom and proceeded to the car in the garage. With his "weapons" hanging out of the window, he put the car in reverse and hit the gas...only, the garage door was still down. He called me crying about it(in his early 20's at the time). I had to hang up the phone to keep him from hearing me, I'm chuckling again...thanks for reminding me. Now, I gotta call my brother and give him a hard time.

  3. Omg I am laughing so hard at both you and Angel...

  4. Thank you for sharing that story Angel. I needed that to start my day :)

    Chrissy, when aren't you laughing at us?

  5. LOL poor litle doggie. He was probably having so much fun tearing that trash up. I bet he was a proud lil puppy and if he could talk he would say, "See! Look what i did!" as he wagged his tail


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