Click the links below for more info. You know you wanna do it!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

VSG Surgery Depletion and Exhaustion


This morning I woke up dragging along like a half dead escargot. I was starving! It felt like my stomach was about to touch my back, eat a hole in my spine, climb out of my body, go and open the fridge, nest in the mayonnaise jar, and suck up all of the calories through osmosis. I had a slight headache, felt slightly nauseous, too. The best word to describe it is "depleted". I was thisclose to not going to the gym, but I went ahead and put on my big girl panties and handled up. I reenergized with two heaping spoonfuls of peanut butter and a Premier protein shake and after a few minutes I seemed to feel a bit better. I haven't felt like that in a really, really long time.

Its not my water either. My pee was the approriate shade of straw yellow, thank you very much. I've been doing surprisingly well with my liquids for the past few days. I bought a 32 oz Tampico, poured that mess down the drain, and now I have a little mini 32 ounce container I can mix my drinks in. If I get at least one of these and a protein shake I know I am hitting my minimum for the day. I'm good for today already. The thing is though, with water is a daily battle. Even if I do extra good and get in even more than I'm supposed to, I just piss my hydration goals away in an overly diluted flush. If I can store my food, why can't I store my water? Why don't I have specially designed water cells that live in my titties that will expand in times of plenty? Hmmm? Can somebody answer that for me? I promise you, if I kept water in my titties I would neeeeeeever be on here talking about "Water is gross! I gotta choke it down! Death to water!" Once again, I'm calling on the resourceful Japanese to make this happen.

My eating has been mostly low carb with a few handfuls of Froot Loops thrown in the mix everyday. In fact just talking about it is making me want to get some so I'll brb....ok where is the damned box?!.... I'm losing weight really well even with the sugary, frosted, not-so-goodness in my life. I'll probably just go and get me some frosted mini wheats to nosh on instead. Fewer artificial colors, more fiber, and totally more tasty.

I gotta get up and tend to my poor little, dog girl. Her fast ass pulled a runaway slave move and darted under the fence yesterday before I could chain her up. She came home and her ass was WHOOPED. I was so pissed at her. Her front leg is swollen and she cannot put any weight on her back leg. Yesterday she stayed in one spot all day long..*shaking my head* She's not gonna die, but she's pretty busted up.

I just need two more followers to get to 100. I know there are at least two of you out there who can  use a little index finger action and press "Follow". Its easy. You can do it. Pleeeeeeeease?



  1. Following! :)

    I love how you write... I imagine it's much like sitting on a sofa, chatting with you would be... :)

  2. I feel "depleted" too! I am 7 days post-op and am HATING the protein based liquids phase of the diet. I want food! I am hungry. Scrambled egg please.

  3. @kassie Thank you SOOOOO much for following. If I could give you a giant hug, I would squeeze you to death. Well, maybe not to death, just maybe to the point of passing out. :D

    @Lisa I remember your pain well. You can make a deal with the devil for food, but in order to get out of it you gotta wake up at exactly 12:06 am on the 10th day of surgery and run around your house three times while eating an entire pizza.

  4. Hey you did have over 100 followers. Sorry about your breaks my heart when my dog doesn't feel good.

  5. It's so freaking cool!

    Girl, I want to kill her and cuddle her all at the same time.

  6. Ha! Were you salty escargot...and we would be in good shape if we had dromedary titties...we'd REALLY keep up with out water intake then. I drink water in 32 oz bottles, too. It's purely mental. Knowing that when I finish it, I'm halfway done, motivates me to get it over with. I'll forever remember you saying drinking water is like "choking back vodka". I really feel like that sometimes. Hope you and your puppy feel better. I'm going to pray tonight that the onderland fairies carry you to their castle and feed you magical grapes that somehow make you lighter.

  7. OMG I used to LOVE that Tampico crap...DH and I used to buy it when we were first married (15 years ago.) I used to think it was orange juice, lol.

    NOW you have 102 are an overachiever! Woot!

    Wait, are you following me? Hum, maybe following isn't the best term. ;-) Sorry you still have your full hunger, I wish your was gone too. :( And sorry about your pup, hope she feels better soon!

  8. I want water titties too ... :)

    Thank you for my daily laugh. Don't know what I'd do without you. :)

  9. I have never heard of Tampico but it reminds be of Fabuloso ( ...
    Somehow I cant imagine you as an escargo leaving a trail behind you.

    I dont carer about water titties, I just want titties.

    Poor doggie---maybe he needs water....

  10. Girl I think I HAVE water titties!!

    And poor doggie - I had to read your post twice tho because I thought you did the whoopin!

    I love your blog - you crack me up everytime.


  11. @Angel I think magic grapes sound really good right now. I need some fruit in my life

    @Sheila I am dead and gone that you thought Tampico was oj. lmao

    @Kate Thank you very, very, very much!

    @Chrissy Well since you don't care about the make up of your titties, I got a vacuum bag full of dog hair. I was gonna make you some gloves, but I think titties are a better option.

    @jojo *audible gasp* You thought I was an animal beater?! Actually the visual of me and my dog rolling around on the ground fighting is pretty hilarious.


I love feedback more than cake. Make my day!

Waning Woman is sponsored by North Texas Bariatrics


Search This Blog

Subscribe via email

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner