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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Awards, Voting and The Blah's


  So, I'm not feeling all that good in my body right now. I feel sluggish, fat and bloated, and gross. There is no other way to describe it. I've been a little "off" since my whirlwind trip to Nola and Atlanta and I don't know what's taking me so long to get back to normal. I'm stuck on page 10 of "Waning Woman and The Mysterious Case of the Nojo"

For the most part, I'm a daily weigher and that helps keep me on track. It might not work for you, but it does for me, so I don't want to hear shit about it. Yesterday though, I'd made up my mind that I'd gained weight and I just wasn't gonna get on the scale. I just didn't have the headspace to deal with a gain. This morning, I was still equally convinced, but I told myself that I had to face reality. Putting your head in the sand is a sure fire way to end up fat again, so I decided that I couldn't have another ostrich day.
I wasn't nearly as happy as this ostrich.

I stripped bare and tossed my unmentionables on the floor.
I tapped the scale with one foot and waited she coldy flashed her series of dashes at me.
After she zeroed out, I eased one foot onto her.....*wince*....and then the other.
And after what seemed to be an agonizingly long time.......

What the hell??! I actually lost weight!

I didn't gain a stitch of weight in New Orleans and this is my lowest, non fasting weight. I don't understand why what I feel in my body is so disconnected from reality. Why the crazy?

WHY THE CRAZY!!??!! *in my best crazy, cross eyed, NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!!!!, Ajax flinging, cold cream slathered, Faye Dunaway/Joan Crawford voice*

WHY THE CRAZY??!?!? *in my best mothball smelling, code enforcement calling, STOP PICKING UP MY PECANS ON THE SIDEWALK!!!!, cat lady, spinster voice*

WHY THE CRAZY?!??!?
Since I have no answers, maybe you do.

........................
In the middle of typing this, I received word that I was nominated in 3 categories for Diva Taunia's Backstage WLS Awards!!!

Favorite Sleever!
Best WLS friendly recipe for my Crispy Pan Fried Ricotta Cakes!
Overall Best WLS Chick!

Vote for Me. I'm going to shamelessly plug myself. I'm going to buy ad space on some lucky post ops batwings and I'm sure there is at least one of you that will wear a "Vote for Waning Woman" shirt..ala Pedro of course. Is buying commercial time on DWTS overkill? Anywho, I have a conference call with Dubya. I need to brush up on the fine art of election stealing.





Image: anankkml / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

2 comments:

  1. Very super cool !!! :)... I don't even know who was kind enough to nominate me. I have been away for so long trying to keep my head above water and dealing with life!.. lol..

    Best of luck! I will be voting for you :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I totally missed all this jazz, but you know I love you.

    ReplyDelete

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