Click the links below for more info. You know you wanna do it!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Missing cups and Alternate Universes


that's about as useful as a man with no...er...wallet  
   This morning I woke up ready to mix up my Chike so that I could do a review. After being missing for months, I found it still in it's envelope behind a big ass box of organic tomatoes, so I was a wee bit excited. I went to the cabinet to get out the snazzy shaker bottle they sent me and it was no where to be found. WHERE IN THE HELL IS MY SHAKER BOTTLE? Really? Nobody in the house is drinking protein shakes so there is no reason at all for my stuff to have been messed with. Ugh, I hate kids, and by kids I mean PT's ass too.  Somebody in my house has been drinking out of it cause only the cup part is missing. The lid is sitting right there in a dark, lonely corner of my cabinet missing it's dearly beloved. Did I mention that I hate kids? And people.
And okra.
And whipped icing.
And cars with eyelashes.
And acid reflux.
AND SHAKER CUPS WITH MISSING BOTTOMS!!!!
Missing bottoms are only acceptable if you're a a kid with diaper rash or a top shelf sKripper in the middle of the graveyard shift at an all nude bar, "Jangle and Dangle"

My weight is up and I'm none too happy about it. Its not a large enough amount for me to really be worried about, but its big enough for it to slightly grate my scale obsessed brain. I know what I want to weigh, and I don't really want to be any bigger or smaller. Is that really too much to ask?
The scale hasn't been my friend ever since I went to Zumba last weekend. The following day, I had a  big swoosh and Bessie hasn't been the same all week. I'm not blaming it on Zumba, I'm just using that as a reference point. It would be nice if I could blame weight gain on exercise.It would be nice if I could blame all of life's ills on exercise! What if you could stop something bad by NOT doing an exercise? Like if you wanted to immediately become more attractive, all you'd have to do is stop doing Taebo. What a novel revelation!
 Broke? Stop Zumbaing.
Acne? No more elliptical.
Irritating as people wearing your nerves? Put the kibosh on all that running?
Ebola? Well, you're royally screwed on that one there buddy.
Impotence? No more leg lifts!
Anyway, I'm about to catch this flying pig to this wonderfully fantastic, alternate universe I've created. See you at the end of the rainbow!









5 comments:

  1. lmao.
    first, hubby cooks wicker okra. just slamming. takes a lot of work and i usually have to bribe him to cook it.
    B, ya can gain wait from zumba and excersizing. toned muscle + weight gain, but eventually that toned muscle will burn calories even faster, so it gets better.
    i hate cars with bloody eyelashes too.
    just sick.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That sucks and I hate it. I bought an 8 dolar bad as travel 20 oz insulated coffee cup. The lid went missing...I put my lids on...I bought another one...it went missing...I bought one more and the first ones lid got found so now I have two.

    Check under the part of the sofa where the ol' man sits.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nothing is more frustrating than the little peeps in my house messing with my STUFF! UGH! P.S. - I nominated you for some blogging awards over on my site! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree with Vanita. A little muscle gain will burn fat and calories. But please don't forget about your stress level. Once your stress goes up, the body is more susceptible to gain a few unwanted pounds. But do not worry your beautiful self over a measly few pounds; with all your hard work, you have been an inspiration to a lot of people. Stay positive and know that in your heart you are Wonderful, Amazing, and Gorgeous (inside and out)!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ok the okra I understand. But eyelashes??? WTF you got against eyelashes WW? ;-)

    http://www.formerlyfluffy.com/

    ReplyDelete

I love feedback more than cake. Make my day!

Waning Woman is sponsored by North Texas Bariatrics

Twitter

Search This Blog

Subscribe via email

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner