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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Move it, Bessie!


I've been doing really well with my low carbing. I have been on a debauched carnivorous rampage, dispatching every single piece of beef that comes my way. Like a ravenous lion, if it oinks, moos, or clucks, I have been all on it.

Leafy low carb veggies? Check
Cupcakes? UN-Check

I've been a egg eatin, bbq beastin, steak slurping, chicken wing KILLER since New Years Day. I haven't had this much motivation for protein power since Atkins himself was alive. So why...

AM I NOT LOSING THE WEIGHT I WANT TO LOSE????

I'm sure measuring tape is low carb! Just add a little pesto
Ugh! I'd like to blame Bessie, but in this rare moment of clarity, I realize that
she's just the messenger.(Maybe this moment of clarity is actually more of a moment of "broke" and I know that I can't afford a new scale.) I'm happy that I'm still in onderland and I know that these few pounds really don't mean a thing, but that's just the rational side of my dichotomy talking. I say "just the rational side" as dismissively as one might say "Oh that's just the crazy cat lady. Pay those braless, water balloon, titties no mind. She aaalways breastfeeds the kittens." The Rational doesn't mean shit. It's the Crazy that's the trouble.

We all need a little of The Crazy to help keep ourselves balanced. If your clothes ARE too tight, sometimes a touch of The Crazy can spur you to action. If you've gained 15 lbs, a smidge of the crazy can be just enough of the kick in the ass you need. The problem with the crazy is that it can easily become unbalanced and you don't always know where the line is. Having a burst blood vessel over 1 lb is overkill.
Tripping out over 2-4 lbs?
5-10?
10-15?
At what point does it tip over from The Crazy to The Rational?

Right now my reflection is telling me that these pounds are making a noticeable difference in my appearance. Everything from my hips to face seems fuller to me and I don't really like it. Just being honest about what it is I'm feeling right now *shoulder shrug* It very well could be The Crazy, but it very well could be the case that I am bigger. The scale says I'm bigger. My eyes say I'm bigger. I mean, does Elvis himself have to swoop down from Heaven in his powder blue cadillac and slap me in the mouth with a peanut butter and banana sandwich before its true? I'm scared of ghosts anyway...even bedazzled jumpuit wearing ones. I got two outta three.
My eyes lie, but the don't always lie. They weren't lying when I busting up outta New York and company and heading  to Lane Bryant. They weren't lying when I went from 18's into a whole new size bracket. They weren't lying then, so why do they have to always be lying now?

I'm not saying they're not lying, I'm not saying I'm not crazy, I'm just saying...

7 comments:

  1. I love how u perfectly describe how the thing all plays out in ur head. The Crazy & The Rationale. I know it all too well. But somehow, even on the days I am bigger, I've sort of forced my mind into something else, I can't really explain it. But it keeps me from breastfeeding the kittens. :)

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    1. that gave me an image that made me snort...too funny

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  2. Isn't it amazing how the scale can mess with our minds! I wish someone could teach me how to fix that. I know how to eat right I know I need to exercise but how do I get the crazy out from my head in regard to the scale!

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  3. You realize, of course, that you are actually behaving normally for someone in an abnormal situation, right? Coming from the place you were and arriving at the place you are was born under duress...so yeah NORMAL :) You da shit lady

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  4. I have eating issues and can get quite obsessive about just about anything I put my mind to do. I just think that when it comes to our bodies and the scale, we need to throw it away. It is just my opinion of course but finding a way to love ourselves unconditionally is better than watching the pounds go up and down.

    I have to take my own advice. I have not been happy looking in the mirror lately. I have even stayed out of in front of the camera with my new grandbaby because I feel like I look fat. But then I see pictures of my daughter's grandmother hiding from the camera and how few pictures they have of her. In our minds she is just Yia Yia and beautiful the way she is.

    So I say let's look in the mirror and tell ourselves "I love you" from our fingers to our toes. "I am beautiful just the way I am" and maybe, we will start believing it. Then it won't matter any more because we will automatically make healthier choices.

    Peace,
    Morgan
    P.S. Love your comment, I love feedback more than cake. I soooo can relate. :D

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  5. I must have the scale and depend on it. It is what keeps me honest. I'm about 7lbs from goal...which I might revise if I ever get these 7 off but it's been slow. Only 1 lb last month. I don't want to go back to where I came and no one is going to make me. My scale will keep me in check so 2 lbs doesn't become 5 which becomes 30 in my world. I do not base my selfworth off of what scale says though.

    Southernsleever

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I love feedback more than cake. Make my day!

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