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Friday, February 28, 2014

Losing 10



So, I guess I took a hiatus from blogging cause I figured that you just might not be interested in what maintenance is. It's trying to stay the same weight, going up a few pounds, trying to lose those few pounds, sometimes losing those few pounds, wash, rinse, repeat.
Maintenance, doesn't make the best blog material.

I remember at one point, I was going to tell you all about my fantastic burst of gymthusiasm and how I was hitting the weights like I was a pimp and them bitches owed me money.......
But then I got a full time job.

And then I was going to blog about the job and how happy I was to be doing what I was doing....
But then they hired somebody else to do what I was doing and I found out with the "We appreciate everything you do" email.

And you guys have been with me long enough to know that when shit is going sour, I don't really like to talk about it. Remember the Thing of Which I Will Not Speak? I don't know, not that everybody who does it it seeking attention, I just don't like being the center of attention in that way.
I like being the center of attention is this dress though!!! #nospanx

So here we are and I actually think I have some stuff to talk about.

TEN POUNDS

I was afraid to say that I need to lose ten pounds. First of all, I've been told I'm crazy for wanting to lose. Secondly, why can't I accept myself ten pounds heavier? Is something wrong with me? It's easy to preach self love, but when ten pounds rears its ugly head.....

I'm not the woman who needs to lose ten more ALL THE TIME. I want to lose to get back into the zone in which I feel most comfortable in my body. As of today though I only have 5 pounds to go. I've truly committed to a high protein, low carb way of eating.
I passed up cake. I don't need to say anything more.

Well, I'm just letting you know, that we will be seeing a little bit more of me. What would you like me blog about? Food choices, exercise routine, product reviews, what the hell is going on in my life, progress photos? Let me know.

I'm out like Jheri curls and bobby socks.


Thursday, February 20, 2014

4 years after the sleeve



Damn, how in the hell did I miss my surgiversary yesterday?!?! I looked up at the calendar today and was completely aghast that I could forget such a big event in my life.


I guess that's because life just....is.
My stomach is no longer Sleevie Wonder because it is not a separate thing from me. It finally feels like it is part of me.
Now that I'm not actively losing weight and fighting these 10 lbs of regain like every red blooded woman on the planet, I don't feel extraordinarily special. Nothing to see here folks!

The shine has worn off, the glitter is in an ever fading trail behind me. It's not exciting.

All of the things that I did to lose weight are now the things that I have to do just to maintain my weight. It is very easy to stay motivated when I seeing smaller numbers and newer sizes. It is a lot less easy to maintain that enthusiasm when my ass is stagnant. And according to some famous person, isn't that the definition of insanity?! Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Reaching goal and maintaing is actually kind of meh.

This is not to say that I am unhappy with where I am. I feel fantastic, most day actually think I look fantastic, and throughout all of this I've managed to pick up some fantastic friends along the way.
Part of the reason that I have been so successful is my real life, Dallas area support group, After the Cut. There are others that are trying to get a handle on serious regain, while I have just ten pounds. I can still wear all of the clothes in my closet. Perspective is everything.

From this vantage point I see a life that is mine for the taking because I'm not trapped in a body afflicted by obesity.
I'll cry, feel unpretty, feel fearless, feel sad, feel old, feel young, feel wore out, but most importantly there will be days where the shine hasn't gone anywhere and the glitter will be thick as a red carpet and I'll be walking on that.

Thank you for sharing these 4 years with me.

Waning Woman is sponsored by North Texas Bariatrics

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